


Lie to me

by Totally_Legit



Category: GOT7
Genre: 2Jae, But he is actually kinda sweet, Heartache, It's not really a story with smut it's more porn with a drama plot, JB is a perv, Love, M/M, Mean jb, Shameless Smut, Smut, Some Plot, Unrequited Love, virgin YJ
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-14 14:52:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 22,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14138343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Totally_Legit/pseuds/Totally_Legit
Summary: Having Sex with Jaebum is great. Youngjae enjoys it. Frequently.Especially because it is all very casual. No strings attached, you know?I mean, how could he have any other feelings for Jaebum when he is already in love with Jackson? It's obvious, right?And as for Jaebum... Well... Shit.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello to my kind-of-second 2jae work.  
> I posted my last one about 1 1/2 years ago and you might think I was not doing anything. Hell no. I actually started writing this back then. I wrote some and took a break and wrote some and so on.  
> Considering this story was written over all that time there are probably a few inconsistencies. Especially because I didn't write it in chronologial order. Maybe not in the plot, but in the character outlines and writing style. Sorry about that.
> 
> If you HAVE read my other story, this is a similar story but with the roles switched.  
> If you HAVEN'T read my other story, beware of my rough-sex fetish.  
> I promise it's also going to be a little cute.
> 
> Enjoy :)

„Ow“, Jackson yelled when Youngjae punched his upper arm yet again. Youngjae was in a giggly mood. The kind of mood he was usually in when being around Jackson for too long. “Youngjaes hyper-time”, is how Jaebum called it pejoratively. Jackson thought it was cute when Youngjae was giggly, at least that’s what Youngjae believed. Jackson had never actually said it, but he enjoyed making Youngjae laugh, even though he pretended to be hurt when Youngjae punched him. He tended to do that when he was laughing, but since Jackson made him laugh more than anyone else… well… he got punched more.

One could believe that Youngjae pretended to be amused and it was not like he  _would not_ go out of his way to make Jackson like him, but that wasn’t even necessary, because Jackson was, like, the funniest person on earth. And also Jackson loved making people laugh.

Therefore, one could say that they were quite a good match. A perfect couple. For a little while.

As much as Jackson was hilarious, he was almost as volatile as funny. You may be the center of his attention at one moment, and then be completely forgotten the next. It wasn’t just frustrating, it was heartbreaking.

That’s why Youngjae seriously believed that it was better when the two of them were alone. As that didn’t happen all that much, Youngjae really tried to enjoy it all the more. However, even if Youngjae somehow managed to sneak some togetherness with Jackson, soon enough one sassy maknae would show up, distracting Jackson or Jinyoung, who literally had to just pass by with that perfect face of his, and perfect smile and perfect body, would force Jacksons attention onto him.

And as bad as all of that was, recently it was even worse. Because no matter how busy everyone was and how carefully Youngjae tried to not let Jacksons focus scatter… if he spent too long in his room with nobody else, eventually Jaebum would walk in, kidnap him wordlessly to their room and… well… 

Youngjae could remember very well how all of that started. How it’d evolved into what it was now… not so much.

 


	2. Chapter 1.1

Some day:

Youngjae loved snuggling up to Jackson. He honestly tried to be subtle about it, but he loved it. Sometimes Jackson liked to wrap an arm (or both) around him so he was pressed against the muscular body, able to feel his strength and the warmth of his skin.

However, this particular day Jackson was extra touchy. He nuzzled his face in the crook of Youngjaes neck, letting his hot breath ghost over the sensitive skin, while his hands were basically roaming Youngjaes body. Jackson did start at his knee, but casually moved further up, stroking his thigh and his sides and Youngjae felt heat creeping up in his body.

This didn’t normally happen. Jackson affected him on an emotional level, not physically. That’s why he almost panicked when Jacksons touch had this effect on him. He felt his lower parts responding gradually inside his sweatpants. He grabbed his phone, pretending to read something and then hastily excused himself to his room. He leaned against the door for a while, attempting to calm his racing heart, but with little success.

The memory of Jacksons touch lingered. His cheeks were burning in embarrassment and arousal, the erection in his pants pretty obvious by now. He dropped down on the mattress with a groan and rolled on his back. His hand automatically wandered south though with no clear intention to jerk off, but he really needed some release between his legs. He sighed when he wrapped his fingers around his cock inside his pants. He didn’t get much farther though, before he was interrupted.

Jaebum, who was observant, had noticed the terror on Youngjaes face, way before he pretended to receive an alerting text. Of course neither had he missed out on the inappropriate way Jackson was touching him. Jaebum considered it both, a disadvantage and a chance.

He followed Youngjae to their room, casually, the attentive leader and all, and opened the door. Slowly enough to give Youngjae a little bit of a headstart but still fast enough so that he would get an understanding of what was going on inside. It worked.

 

Youngjae jerked upright when the door opened, quickly but messily throwing the blanket over his lower parts. “Hyung!”, he gasped out when Jaebum came into view. “Get out”, he hissed, embarrassed and scared, but Jaebum just walked over and informally sat down next to him. Youngjae wanted to yell at him, tell him to leave him alone in his misery, but he was too startled.

Jaebum smiled at him and put a hand against his chest, applying pressure just strong enough to make Youngjae sink back into the sheets. “Shhhh”, Jaebum said, a finger at Youngjaes lips. “Let me.” Shock, confusion and pure horror tied not only his tongue, but probably also his brain. Jaebums hand wandered down his chest, fast and straightforward, slipping underneath the covers. “Hyung, what are you… stop!”, Youngjae grabbed his wrist with both hands, pulling it away in the last few centimeters. He attempted to sit up, but Jaebum held him down with his free hand on his chest.

He twisted his arm out of Youngjaes grip and shoved it under the blanket again, cupping his erection through his pants. Something that sounded eerily like a moan escaped Youngjaes lips and his cheeks felt like burning up. As terrified as he was of the situation, he was also very very horny and the touch felt so damn good. “Hyung…”, he complained weakly, grabbing his wrist again to shove it away, but he wasn’t sure that’s what he was even doing. Maybe he just was pressing it harder between his legs.

“Aish, Youngjae…”, Jaebum said, getting a hold of his hands to pull them over his head and secure them there, “Relax.”

Youngjae let out another sound, when Jaebum slipped his fingers under his waistband, wrapping them around his naked flesh. Youngjae, who was what you would call a 100% virgin had never been touched down there by anyone but himself. And while he didn’t really know what was going on with his leader, he did know it felt pretty damn good. Jaebum had a firm grip and he moved his hand up and down in small motions until Youngjae couldn’t hold back sounds of pleasure.

Jaebum let go of his hands, correctly deeming him too far gone to resist. “Hyung”, he moaned, grabbing Jaebums upper arm for support. “Just relax”, Jaebum murmured softly, leaning down until his face was right next to Youngjaes ear, “I’ll take care of you.” Youngjae gasped. Hot breath hit his sensitive neck just like Jacksons had earlier and it sent a shiver through his body.

Jaebum observed every little reaction, so he didn’t miss out on the way Youngjaes breath hitched. He brought his lips even closer to Youngjaes neck, whispering sweet and dirty things.

“Fuck, you’re so sexy, Youngjae”, he muttered into his ear while quickening the movement of his hand. Youngjaes whole body shuddered, the words going straight between his legs where Jaebum had him wrapped tightly. He could feel Jaebums soft, dry lips on his neck, temptingly ghosting over his skin, yet not really touching. Youngjae couldn’t tell when his eyes had fallen shut, but it was blissful to just relish in the feeling of skilled hands and the heat radiating from the other body, listening to sexy whispers and his own heavy breathing.

‘Mhhhs’ and ‘Ahhhs’ pearled off his lips as he felt release creep closer, entirely oblivious to how incredibly seductive he was to Jaebum.

Youngjae threw his head back and his hips bucked into Jaebums hand when he came, accompanied by a low, long moan that echoed creepily in the quiet room. Blood was thrumming in his ears while he gasped for air, his chest rising and falling quickly. Jaebum lazily stroked him a few more times before he retrieved his mischievous hand from Youngjaes underwear. Youngjae didn’t dare to even open his eyes at the awkwardness that was about to unfold. His brain could still not process what had just happened and the wet, sticky feeling in his pants didn’t help the situation.

“Well, that was nice”, Jaebum said in the most casual of tones and Youngjaes eyes snapped open to Jaebum reaching for a tissue from next to the bed to wipe some of Youngjaes very own mess off his fingers. Youngjaes face was burning in both, embarrassment and anger. “Hyung, what the hell was that?!”, he yelled, hiding his red face behind his arms. “That, my dear Youngjae, was a handjob.”

 


	3. Chapter 1.2

Present day:

Youngjae is gloomy. He lies on the hotel bed, face down arms and legs stretched out widely. Exhausted as hell. The sound of running water comes from the bathroom, unmuted because Jaebum had left the door open. The concert had been a success, so he should be happy. Dead but happy. He isn’t. Jackson had been very rude to him today, most likely without even noticing, but it had hurt him. And now he is exhausted and moody.

The water is turned off and he hears Jaebum rustling around for a while. “Hmmh, inviting”, he hears him say and then the click of the bathrooms light switch. Youngjae hasn’t even bothered putting on pajamas, so his back presents itself in all its naked glory to his pervert of a leader. Youngjae whines some muffled complaints into the pillow.

Jaebum flings himself down next to him, sprinkling him with some drops of cold water from his wet hair. “Ewww”, Youngjae remarks, but is ignored. “Why is your butt this cute?”, Jaebum inquires, cupping a cheek with his hand, lazily kneading. Youngjae grumbles in response. “Did you have fun today?” Youngjae knows it isn’t nice to say no, but he minimalisticly shakes his head anyway. “Does your body hurt?”, Jaebum keeps asking, “dancing was tough, wasn’t it?”

Youngjae doesn’t answer. He doesn’t care about how exhausting dancing was. “Do you want a massage?”, Jaebum tenderly rubs his back with just the perfect amount of pressure. He is rather good at that. But to be fair, Youngjae really wants to get over with this. He is tired as hell, but the shower has woken Jaebum and he can be merciless when he has too much energy.

“I missed you”, Jaebum whispers, scooting closer. Youngjae knows that. Since they started their tour they hardly shared a room, switching roommates all the time. Jaebum isn’t used to that. He is used to having Youngjae by his side almost every night and he despises that that’s not being the case. He is clingy and needy. So needy that sometimes during waiting times he tried to sneak Youngjae away into some dark storage room to have a Quicky against a dusty wall. Once he’d even pulled him back into the van while the others went to buy food and coffee and had actually managed to get him to suck him off in the backseat before everyone returned. However, usually Youngjae was able to get out of it. Jaebum is too careless in his opinion and if he doesn’t contain his reckless behavior, Jaebum would soon be screwing him on the living room floor for everyone to see.

Though, now they are in the privacy of a comfy hotel room and Youngjae knows for sure that there is no way to hold Jaebum back after all the abstinence, no matter how tired both of them may be. “Can I make love to you?”. Jaebum murmurs against his ear, returning to massage his butt, something Youngjae had come to like and Jaebum had come to notice.

Youngjae answers with a frustrated groan. “No way!”, he says, “Jaebum-Hyung, please… I need to sleep.” “Fine”, Jaebum mutters, pout evident in his tone. Another thing Youngjae had come to like is Jaebums other side. Normally Jaebum is sweet and loving as a person and he mirrors that in bed, going slow and gentle. That’s what they had wordlessly agreed on codenaming ‘making love’. Youngjae however prefers being screwed.

It’d been one day when Jaebum had been furious about some kind of something, stressed out and angry and Youngjae had offered his very own body to vent out some of that pent up frustration. And vent out he did. Wild and messy he took Youngjae from behind, wedging his teeth into his shoulder, groaning. It was rough and it was dirty and Youngjae had had an overwhelming orgasm.

When he came to accept that part of himself he settled on a mission to adjust Jaebums sex drive to his liking. He found fun in teasing him, sometimes over a whole day, stolen glances and touches, secretly, people around them oblivious. Then, when night fell Jaebum would be so horny, he’d screw Youngjaes brains out, leaving bruises on his pale thighs and his butt so sore, they’d need to take a break for a couple of days.

Youngjae rolls over to switch off the light and settle on his back. Jaebum complains “Why can’t we leave it on?”, he wants to know, “I want to see you.” The truth is, Youngjae doesn’t. He doesn’t like when Jaebum  _sees_ him. Stares at him with this look of pure love and affection that reminds Youngjae uncomfortably of that one major downside of their friends-with-benefits sort of relationship. He told Jaebum that he found the sex more intense in the dark, but they both know he didn’t buy it. Jaebum knows he is a substitute, but the more he is aware of it, the more he showers Youngjae with affection, which is kind of beautiful and kind of scary.

Jaebum finds his way around Youngjaes body, even when it is pitch black. He knows how Youngjae likes to have his throat kissed, more than the back of his neck where soft, small hair tickles his nose when Jaebum buries his face there. He knows how Youngjae likes to have him caught between his legs,Jaebums hands wrapped around them to massage the back of his plump thighs. He knows how Youngjae loves to have Jaebums mouth latched onto his nipple, the right one preferably, licking and sucking it, while he pushes his fingers through his entrance. He knows that, because once Youngjae had actually come just from that. What had been meant to be preparing him for his cock had turned Youngjae into such a moaning mess that Jaebum had just kept going, thrusting his fingers inside him, fast and steady, while Youngjaes tensed finger in his hair hadn’t let him back away from his chest. It had taught Jaebum to stay away from doing that if he wanted to get his money’s worth.

Besides Youngjaes demand to not be made love to, he finds Jaebum to be very soft and gentle, kissing him deeply and stroking the sides of his waist. “If I wear blind I’d tell you how sexy you are now”, he mumbles against Youngjaes throat as he maps his chest and arms with his fingers and Youngjae can’t help but giggle. But he knows that this would be a long night if he let Jaebum keep going at his pace, so he decides to take matters into his own hands.

He knows how to hook his ankles behind Jaebums legs to snatch his balance and throw him over and climb on his lap. Jaebums squeaks and even though it’s dark Youngjae knows how his face sports this funny mix between disapproval and excitement. Youngjae is normally a lazy sex partner and he admits it unabashed. He prefers to lie down and let Jaebum work him until he’s seeing stars and while Jaebum knows that he’s taking control only to speed things up he also knows to enjoy it while he can.

Youngjae seductively works his hips over Jaebums already-hard-on, making him moan. He blindly traces the faint lines of Jaebums abs. He likes them. Not as bold and obvious as Jacksons, but they suit Jaebum and he likes Youngjae petting his belly. One hand still there he needs the other to get himself a little ready. He wets two fingers with his tongue and brings it behind his back. Jaebum seems to have had the same idea, or maybe he could make out Youngjaes form in the faint glow of the room. He sits up, bringing a hand around his butt as well. Their fingers meet, nastily, between his cheeks. It is incredibly dirty. The way Jaebum gets a hold of Youngjaes middle finger and guides it to push through the entrance with Youngjae doing nothing himself, yet able to feel both, the stimulation at his entrance and the tightness and heat of himself around his finger. He just lets himself be guided, then Jaebum follows with his own. Youngjae moans at the stretch of two digits inside of him. It really has been a while. He can feel Jaebums hand pressed against his own and he can feel his move with both his inner walls and his own finger.

Youngjae wraps his free arm around Jaebums neck, pressing them close together as he enjoys Jaebum fingering him. Jaebum lets his index finger follow after a bit, leaving Youngjae so full, yet yearning for more. Even though he is a part of stretching himself, Jaebum –literally- has the upper hand and sets the pace, slowly and carefully working him open. He doesn’t hold back on the pleasured sounds that fall off his lips. Not here where they’re finally in privacy, not now after such a long time. Not anymore, since they know each other so well and Youngjae has long stopped to be embarrassed about the noises he makes. He doesn’t hold back and Jaebum loves it anyways.

Youngjae won’t give up though. He is still in charge. He easily retrieves their hands when he deems himself ready and Jaebum doesn’t complain but instead lines himself up. Youngjae holds onto his shoulders as he sinks down, taking Jaebum in with the stinging pain he hasn’t felt in a while, moaning. “God, Youngjae”, Jaebum moans in his ear in response, “You feel so damn good… Fuck, how I’ve missed this.” Youngjaes only answer is his ragged breath. It feels better than he wants to admit and he’s a little glad that Jaebum has an insatiable sex drive. He lifts himself up a little to go down faster, taking Jaebum deeper. Then he does it again, each time with more force.

“So wild”, Jaebum groans, “so needy.” Youngjae throws his head back in ecstasy when he finally manages to find that spot, erratically riding Jaebum at the same angle to increase the pleasure even more. Jaebum falls back, his fingers dig into Youngjaes sides as he begins meeting the movement of Youngjaes hips. Every time Youngjae sinks back down on his cock, Jaebum thrusts up into him, doubling the strength until Youngjae is a mess of lust and moans. His thighs are already burning at the strain, his lungs seemingly unable to fill with enough air for him to live as he desperately gasps and chokes out encouraging words like “Fuck! Hyung! Harder!”

Jaebum is so deep inside of him, so hard and big and the pleasure fills every centimeter of his body. With his mind clouded and his whole body aching for release, he wraps his fingers around his erection, which is everything he needs. He doesn’t warn Jaebum when he comes. He just cries out in pleasure and slams himself down on Jaebums hard length, tightening around him while he spills all over him, sending his Hyung over the edge with him almost immediately, enabling him to feel Jaebum come deep inside of him with a groan.

With his last bit of strength he lifts himself up just enough to have Jaebum slide out of him and let himself fall down on the mattress exhausted. He’s content now, sweaty and breathing hard, but as Jaebum scoots closer and throws the blanket over them, he realizes how much he missed the feeling of being loved and being wanted. He sighs into the pillow, even as Jaebum gently strokes his back and whispers sweet things into his ear. 

Youngjae doesn’t think about Jackson in these moments. He doesn’t think about his own unrequited love. He doesn’t think about Jaebums unrequited love. He just enjoys the feeling of warmth and care and sometimes, NOT TODAY, he thinks how neat it’d be if he could just love Jaebum instead.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're getting used to switching between past and present, because that's how the rest of the story will roll. :P


	4. Chapter 2.1

Back then

Youngjae swore to never talk to his leader again after that first handjob. After a shower and fresh clothes he grabbed his stuff and settled on the sofa for the night. Never again would he speak of this incident and never again would he let something like this happen.

This resolution lasted two days. When Jaebum was entirely casual about the matter, not mentioning it in the slightest to him or the others, it kind of slipped Youngjaes mind to move out when night fell. He cuddled into the blanket due to the cold air like he was used to, yawning and waiting for Jaebum to turn off the light. After his leader had climbed into the bed as well he scooted closer to snuggle against Youngjaes back, wrapping his arms around him. 

Youngjae was used to being a plushie toy for Jaebum, no matter how often he complained about it and even bought him a large fluffy teddybear as a substitute. However, turned out there wasn’t really that much space in their bed and he’d eventually gotten sick of an inanimate object stealing his sleeping space so Youngjae 2.0 had been discarded in favor of its living, breathing counterpart.

 

“Haven’t you been cold sleeping in the living room?”, Jaebum asked against the back of his head. That’s when Youngjae realized what had been going on and why it felt so comfy to be in his own bed again after nights on the hard sofa. He felt his cheeks getting hot immediately and it suddenly felt very different from usual how Jaebums body was tightly pressed against his back, radiating a heat that, normally pleasant, now felt somehow provocative.

“Ugh, I was fine!”, Youngjae groaned, “At least nobody was abusing me as…. HYUNG!” Jaebum had, not giving a fuck about Youngjae talking, slid his hand down his body and cupped him through his pajamas. “Let go of me”, Youngjae complained, a tingling sensation shooting through his body, “or I’ll sleep on the sofa again!” He couldn’t help but remember the way Jaebum had been touching him just two days ago in this very place and of course he also remembered how good it had felt.

“Don’t”, Jaebum mumbled against his skin, “I’d miss you… I was lonely” The serious, innocent tone Jaebum was talking in didn’t match the snooping behavior of his right hand that was rudely massaging him through his pants. “Fine!”, Youngjae grumbled, because he already felt himself get hard under Jaebums touch, “but make it quick!”

Jaebum giggled against his neck. “Aye Sir!”, he breathed out, tightening his grip between Youngjaes legs, who failed to contain the pleased sound that built in his throat. It was awkwardly familiar how Jaebum flicked his wrist, once he’d pulled down the waistband of Youngjaes pajama pants and how his lips moved along the skin of his neck. Youngjaes sighs turned into moans, Jaebums mouth pressing actual kisses to the back of his neck, hot and wet and it chased shivers down his spine. Teeth grazed over exposed skin and his body responded without his will, shuddering at the sensation.

Youngjae was already very very close, when he was hit by a sudden realization. And it didn’t hit him out of nowhere. It hit him in the form of an obviously hard cock pressing against his butt. 

Jaebums breath behind his ear was ragged, his hips rubbing against him in small, almost unnoticeable motions, yet Jaebum was undeniably horny. And Youngjae realized that his Hyung might somewhat expected a refund for the not-so-gracious handjobs he was handing out.

And while that was kind of putting him off, there was no way to deny that it was a little sexy how worked up Jaebum was, just from this. Including the low groans coming from him and the whispers about how sexy he apparently was. Youngjae came with one last, long moan, staining the sheets. And while he rode out his orgasm, Jaebum was still rutting against his behind, but when the pleasure flowed off, it suddenly felt very, very wrong.

Youngjae twisted himself out of Jaebums grip, reaching behind him, to push his persistent hips away. “Let go of me, Hyung.”, he demanded while trying to keep his voice from shaking. He felt like crying. Used and dirty. “No, wait”, Jaebum murmured, trying to hold onto him, but Youngjae couldn’t take it. “No, you wait!”, he said sternly, “Go away.” There must have been something in his voice he couldn’t put a finger on, but Jaebum complied, moved back and even forced a small “Sorry”.

Youngjae sat up, but he didn’t dare to face his leader, not even in the dark. “I’ll sleep in the living room”, he said between gritted teeth, but Jaebum stopped his attempt to get up.

“No”, he said, scrambling to his feet, “I will.”

 

 

Youngjae couldn’t sleep that night. It was shocking to see his leader so out of his mind. He felt wronged. Since Jaebum had been the one to force himself onto him, it wasn’t like he had any right to request something of Youngjae in return. Yet he felt a little guilty. As if he’d been using Jaebum to get off. While in fact, Jaebum had been using him for exactly that, hadn’t he? Or tried to. Did he really think he could use Youngjae like that? Did he believe that Youngjae, because he liked guys, would be down to get on with any guy?

He didn’t want to believe that. He couldn’t even. Jaebum wasn’t like that. He was a good person, who cared about others. 

They were close, as friends and members. All of them. Hugs of varying degrees, pats on shoulders and butts, occasional neck massages or foot rubs were a daily occurrence for them. Yet, Youngjae knew for sure that mutual handjobs weren’t something that was normally included in a friendship.

 

They were going to have to talk about this and it terrified him.

 


	5. Chapter 2.2

Today

 

The company thinks they’ve done them a huge favor. As they return home from the tour, Jaebum and Youngjae find a brand new stock bed in their room, ready to be inhabited and oblivious to the mess it is about to create.

Youngjae thinks it is pretty cool to not share a bed once in a while. Jaebum thinks it is pretty awful. Youngjae picks the top bed, not because he desperately wants it, but because Jaebum will want to have the bottom one and even if he pretends to let Youngjae pick first, if he actually went for the bottom bed it’d stir up an argument and Jaebum would pull his “I’m the leader”- trump card and it’d end with Youngjae taking the top one.

In the first night it doesn’t matter anyways. Youngjae hardly has any time to throw the door shut and turn the key, when Jaebum already pushes him up against the wall, face forward, to ravish the back of his neck.

It’s the same play again. The tour was long and they were separated for nights and nights. Youngjae did not think for a second that he would get away this night without Jaebum taking him. Jaebum does. Twice. He undresses Youngjae with quick, routine motions, littering his shoulders and the back of his neck with kisses and kitten licks. He rubs his hardening cock between his cheeks, teasing his rim, making Youngjae squirm impatiently. Jaebum moves him onto the mattress of the bottom bed and makes love to him. It’s slow and deep and lasts forever. Jaebum fucks him and stares at him in the orangey glow of the street lights in front of their window that prevent the room from ever being absolutely dark, until Youngjae is on the verge of crying because he wants release so bad, his member is painfully hard and because Jaebum’s loving gaze is so perfectly intense and affectionate, it leaves his heart hurting even more than his legs from keeping them in the air for so long.

When they both finally come, Youngjae exhaustedly attempts to flee the scene, by climbing up into his new bed, but of course Jaebum doesn’t let him go and because Youngjae complains, he takes him again until he is so worn out and tired he falls asleep in his leaders arms after his second orgasm.

 

Luckily they’re off the next day

 

Jaebum is not all too pleased when Younjae slips away from him the next evening and hurries up the ladder into his own bed. Lying on his belly he stretches out his arms and legs as far as he can with a content sigh. It doesn’t last however.  
“Scoot over”, says Jaebum and pushes him to the side. “You know, the air is better down there, dunno why you get up here.” He casually states, ignoring Youngjaes frustrated yell.

Youngjae has it over with him. “Gotta go pee”, he lies and climbs back down, leaving the room to head for, not the bathroom, but his maknaes’ room. Sadly he find Jackson there, snuggled up in BamBams bed like it’s his own. “What’s up, Hyung?”, Yugyeom asks and randomly throws a pillow at him. Youngjae ducks and avoids it narrowly. “Nothing”, he shrugs as if it was no big deal, even though his heart aches at the thought of Jackson sharing a 1-person mattress with BamBam while all he’s got is a clingy Jaebum. ,”Just checking if you’re being naughty” Jinyoung, who just emerged from his room snorts and picks up the pillow Yugyeom threw to throw it back in his face. He doesn’t miss. “Can they be else?”, he asks.

Youngjae isn’t in the mood for jokes. He says a good night and then flees the room.  
Mark curiously glances up from his phone when Youngjae enters, but unlike the younger ones he doesn’t say anything. Youngjae is grateful for it when he slips under Jackson’s blanket.

 

Jaebums gaze the following day is terrifying. Youngjae doesn’t know that Jaebum went looking for him when he didn’t return, because he’d been asleep already. However, Mark knows. Unbeknownst to Youngjae he’d acted out the Hyung in front of Jaebum, which he rarely ever did to any of them and Jaebum hadn’t dared to say or do anything other than retreating back to his own place.

Youngjae slept like a baby.  
Running away to sleep in a different room after they shared one for such a long time is a sign that even Jaebum partly understands. The result is, they don’t talk it out like they should.  
Youngjae likes it, because he finally, somehow, feels in charge. He chooses to go to their room or Mark’s respectively whether he feels like sex or not. Jaebum seems surprisingly compliant for a while until Youngjae overhears him subtly hinting to Jackson whether he plans to sleep in BamBams or Yugyeoms bed forever.

Youngjae, who feels comfy with Mark, sitting in “his” bed listening to music, while Mark is playing games, looks up when he hears the door open, only to find Jackson standing there hugging his pillow which he frequents to bring along wherever he sleeps.  
“They kicked me out”, he whines and throws himself next to Youngjae. “Go away.”

Youngjae’s heart stops for a moment. Sleeping with others seems to be fine, but he’s in the way?  
“Sleep with me”, he suggests casually, but Jackson grumbles unhappily. “You take too much space and this is my bed. Go sleep in yours.”  
Being chased away by Jackson hurts, but the suffocating feeling at the thought of going back to his room may be worse right now. He just slept with Jaebum last night, he doesn’t want to again.

It’s Mark to the rescue once more. He turns around, pulling the headphones away from one ear. “Youngjae actually likes rooming with me, unlike  _someone_ who ran away and avoided this room as if I had the plaque” he says to Jackson directly, who gasps in playful shock, “I don’t think you have the right to claim this as your room anymore. Just go sleep in Youngjae's bed.” He lets the headphone snap back in place and turns around to start a new game without waiting for a response.

“You heard mum”, Jackson gives in and pokes Youngjae’s belly before getting up and prancing out the door.

“Thanks”, Youngjae says, even though Mark probably can’t hear him

What started out as a situational solution turns into a permanent one and in the blink of an eye Youngjae is officially announced Mark’s roommate. Jackson jubilees, Youngjae is relieved, Mark smiles and Jaebum is very, very displeased.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Upon proofreading I found that Youngjaes antipathy to ‘sleep with Jaebum’ sounds a little like Jaebum was basically violating him. However when I write that, I mean sleep literally, as in staying in one bed while sleeping. Okay? So, Jaebum is annoying, but not a rapist.


	6. Chapter 3.1

Precedent

 

They didn’t talk about it by the way.

Youngjae couldn’t muster up the courage to bring it up while Jaebum ignored it once again. He was hesitant towards Youngjae, unlike before. While he was still friendly and caring, he held back in other departments and subtly made sure they weren’t alone.

Youngjae found a sleeping spot in the maknaes' room, claiming his own was too cold.

The biggest problem about the current situation was, now that Youngjae had known the touch of another man, Jackson's excessive skinship affected him more than it ever had. While he should be happy about it, it repeatedly made his stomach turn until he felt he had to throw up and he even guilt-stricken jerked off in the shower.

 

Youngjae was contemplating to make the first step after all when the whole situation was so suffocating he wasn’t sure he could bear it any longer, when Jaebum opened the door to the music room he was currently pretending to be creative in. “Youngjae-ah”, he said carefully when Youngjae lifted his head and froze. Please let it be something irrelevant! Jaebum not only closed, but also locked the door, something that should neither be required, nor evoke such a strange feeling inside of him, somewhere between scared to death and ridiculously excited.

What if Jaebum hadn’t come to talk? What if he had come to have his way with him?

“Youngjae I’m sorry!”, Jaebum said right away, taking a few insecure steps towards the chair Youngjae had just gotten up from, backing away. Jaebum halted and dropped his head in obvious shame. “Now you’re afraid of me…”, he stated in a sad voice, “I’m the worst possible person. Youngjae, I didn’t mean to pressure you like that, I swear…”

Youngjae was quiet. Honestly, it was right of Jaebum to apologize. He should, after what he’d done. But, truthfully, he looked so miserable that Youngjae was tempted to just grab him into a tight hug and forgive him, shaking off their awkwardness. And at the same time he realized how much he had actually missed him, which turned again into anger about Jaebum staining their relationship so thoughtlessly. So he was quiet.

“I can hardly ask you to forgive me, but… I promise I’ll never do that again, if that’s what you want and…”, Jaebum trailed off when he looked up at Youngjae who was staring him down.

Youngjae could hardly remember how it came to this. He knew he’d stumbled forward, torn between hitting Jaebum and throwing himself into his arms, memories of their former twosomeness all too vivid. Next thing he knew, Jaebum was pushing him up against the wall, hungrily pressing their lips together. It was nothing like anyone would imagine their first kiss to be, but Youngjae responded anyways, maybe a little sloppy, burying his fingers in Jaebums hair, who pinned his torso against the hard surface behind him.

This time he didn’t mind one bit the way Jaebum was rutting his hips against his own, their crotches delightfully pressed against one another. Youngjae could feel Jaebums hard-on behind the fly of his jeans and he thought that he could get off like this, just the friction of their lower parts through several layers of clothing. Jaebums tongue had taken on the task of roaming his mouth, hot and wet and overwhelming. They broke apart, gasping for air, but Jaebum just settled his lips at the side of his neck, licking and sucking all the sensitive spots, lips and tongue following the lines of his throat until Youngjae was groaning.

His hips, desperate and needy, jerked forward and Jaebum struggled to shove his hands between them to open their pants. Youngjae was lowkey wondering what else was going to happen, but Jaebum settled with grabbing both of them together to jerk them off. It was quick and it was dirty, but it was also kind of right.

Youngjae was panting against Jaebums shoulder after they’d both come, while Jaebum had wrapped his arms around him to hold him upright. “Are you okay?”, he asked carefully after a while. Youngjae just nodded. He was kind of okay, but he wasn’t sure he was okay either. “Are we okay?”, Jaebum kept asking and even though Youngjae nodded again, he added “Do you hate me?”

“I couldn’t possibly, Hyung”, he said softly and he meant it.

“Let’s go back”, Jaebum answered, sounding much more cheerful already. “Uhmm”, Youngjae made, causing Jaebum to freeze immediately. “I’m kinda… still working somehow.” “Oh…”, Jaebum looked around, a little confused. “Okay sure. You know what? I’ll see you at home.” And with that he pressed a kiss on Youngjaes forehead, turned around and left.

It was hellishly awkward. And it’s not like they were able to solve anything.

 


	7. Chapter 3.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... uhm... yeah... it's dirty.   
> This chapter is basically the reason why I write. It's probably the reason for this story to exist. Just so I can do these things to poor Youngjae.  
> Have fun. They do.

Back to the future

 

 

Youngjae is a wreck. He is sprawled out on the covers, legs spread wide open invitingly and cheap. His body is filled with want, his cock achingly hard. All he can think of is how much he wants Jaebum to fuck him raw and he is not ashamed to beg for it. “Please Hyung”, he whispers for the nth time. “Please fuck me already.”

Mark isn’t going to be back until late in the evening, but Jaebum also has been teasing him for what feels like hours.

_It’d been one of those days again where Jackson decided to run around with too little clothing and Youngjae had found himself fantasizing about all the things he wanted Jackson to do to him. Everything Jaebum had ever done and more, but Jackson being the one to ravish him. And Jaebum had noticed. And Jaebum didn’t like it._

_He locked Youngjae in his room, stripped him bare in a matter of seconds and threw him on the bed to have his way with him._

“Do you like it, Youngjae-ah?”, Jaebum asks softly, “Do you think anyone could do better than me?” Youngjae shakes his head frantically, gasping for air as if he is drowning. “Do you think Jackson could do this? Could turn you into such a whimpering mess?” Youngjaes answer is a choked cry, when Jaebums hand lands on his bare thigh with an obscene slap.

It is Jaebums secret weapon.

_Jaebum had been sucking and biting and bruising all over Youngjae's body until he was rock hard and leaking. And when he was at the point where he’d do anything to get off Jaebum had kissed him sweetly on the lips, smiled and said “Suck me.”_

_Once he wrapped his lips around Jaebums pulsing cock he could feel his firm grip on the back of his head. At first Jaebum had been really careful about this, but it hadn’t taken him much time to realize that this, too, was something Youngjae could enjoy quite a bit. His masochist blood runs deep and that concludes in him not only accepting, but LIKING when Jaebum fucked his mouth._

_He thrust down his throat with appreciative sounds and Youngjae, needy and unsatisfied fisted his own neglected erection and came even before he felt Jaebum's hot cum shoot down the back of his throat making him gag. He tried to swallow all, choking around the thickness of Jaebums cock still in so deep and when he finally let go of his head and pulled away it left him coughing and gasping for air._

“ If you wanted me to fuck you so bad, you should have waited”, Jaebum says with an exaggerated pout, “Shouldn’t have jerked off yourself.” He is kneeling between Youngjae's expectantly spread thighs, massaging the sensitive spot he just smacked. Youngjaes whimpers are agonizing, desperate. He knows that, but his whole body is burning up. He’s so hard it is painful already and Jaebum is still not done with his kinky spanking, even though he already left Youngjae's perky cheeks red and swollen.

_Jaebum had pushed him on the bed right after the forced blowjob, flat on his stomach so his sensitive post-orgasm crotch was rubbing against the blankets, making him mewl and then he brought his palm down on Youngjae's butt with a hallowing smack. “It’s not gonna end like this”, Jaebum said, wild hunger straining his voice, “It was never supposed to end like this. You can jerk off as much as you want; I am still going to fuck you.” His words were followed by more loud cracks of skin on skin, each accompanied by a moan that Youngjae couldn’t contain._

Jaebum leans down on his elbows right next to Youngjaes head and breathes in his ear “Should I call Jackson?” Youngjae gasps at his words, unable to formulate a single word with the sensation of their hard dicks rubbing against each other in this position. “Would you like that?”, Jaebum keeps on pressing, hot breath ghosting over his sensitive neck, hips moving in minimal, almost unnoticeable circles, adding a friction that’s driving Youngjae insane. “Would you like if I get Jackson to take over? Give him a shot at screwing your brain out?”, Jaebums low voice is vicious; animalistic, “If he can. Do you think he could do that? Make you see stars? Make you forget your own name? Do you think he’d fuck you good?”

Youngjae can’t help the tears spilling out of his eyes. Of course Jackson couldn’t. His body is on fire. The arousal, the pain, the layer of sweat covering every centimeter of his skin, the friction between his legs that is too much and never enough, the uncontainable desire, the want, the need to get off, the hunger for more. More pleasure, more of anything. And it’s Jaebum, it is all Jaebum.

He kisses his cheeks, licking the tears away. “I didn’t think so”, he says as he finally lines himself up, his tip pressing against the untouched entrance between his abused cheeks. Youngjaes knees cling at Jaebums torso, shaking in anticipation. It hurts like a bitch when Jaebum pushes inside, slowed by the unprepared tightness but relentless. Youngjae cries out helplessly when his hole gets stretched out over Jaebums impossibly hard length and he can feel the drag along his walls so vividly.

Jaebum distracts him by leaning down to his chest and catching a pink nipple between his lips. Youngjaes sore throat can hardly come up with any more crooked noises of painful pleasure as Jaebums bites down casually. He’s done that so often before, Youngjae can’t count the times that have left the sensitive skin irritated and burning. His tongue follows to lick over the abused nub soothingly, but even that is torture.

Youngjae feels himself tightening and clenching around the welcome intruder between his legs and Jaebum responds with delicious moans against his chest. It seems to take forever until he eventually bottoms out and the ragged breath and unmistakable grinding of teeth at Youngjaes ear tell him that Jaebum is having a hard time holding still at least for a moment.

Incomprehensible noises and screams are the only thing Youngjae can come up with when Jaebum starts moving his hips, pulling away to push back forward. His thrusts are slow but forceful enough that it feels as if there was still some space and as if he goes deeper with each of them, fucking him dry and hard. It doesn’t take long until Jaebum finds just the right angle to reach his sweet spot, brushing past it once or hitting dead on another time, so inconsistently Youngjae gets torn between begging for more and begging for mercy over and over again. There’s nothing he can do but to take it, even as Jaebum speeds up gradually until he is pounding into him like there’s no tomorrow, forcing strangled cries and moans of pleasure. Even as his pace gets faster, his thrusting loses nothing of its force and it feels so fucking good, Youngjae can feel release creep closer ridiculously fast. Jaebum pulls out further than before with each snap of his hips, not only hitting just the right spot deep inside of him, but also increasing the friction at his burning entrance and it takes only a couple of those until Youngjae loses it.

A shattering orgasm jolts through his body, making him scream and spill all over himself and while waves after waves of pleasure wash over him, Jaebum keeps fucking him through it until he is completely milked dry and is left panting and trembling.

Jaebum grabs the back of his knees and folds them against his chest and though Youngjae whines exhaustedly, he picks up his pace once more, thrusting mercilessly into his exhausted body. Youngjae’s tortured screams must be heard not only in the dorm, but by everyone in the building. He’s coming again, dry, from how Jaebum is ramming into his overstimulated prostate. The abused bundle of nerves is sending shockwaves of unwanted pleasure through his veins, setting him on fire. Jaebum pounds him until he is groaning and cursing and just when Youngjae thinks he is gonna pass out, he moans his name, releases himself deep inside with a few last sharp thrusts and finally halts.

 

Youngjae can’t stop his body from shaking, legs lifelessly falling as Jaebum lets them go and moves away, evoking an almost inaudible whimper when he pulls out only after whispering a mocking “Let go of me” in Youngjae's ear, whose stubborn body had involuntarily been clenching around him.

Unable to consciously move a single muscle in his trembling body, Youngjae is trying to relax and steady his breathing, but the tremors won’t let go of him. Jaebum props his head on his elbow, sideways next to him and looks at him, observing Youngjae’s attempt to gain back control of his body parts. “I never would have thought of doing things like these to another person, let alone enjoy it, you know?”, Jaebum says quietly and lifts his hand to wipe a few tears off his face. “I mean, until I had sex with you.”

Youngjae doesn’t care. He wants to say “Fuck you”, but he doesn’t trust his voice.

He’s just lying there, used and dirty, stains of cum on his stomach and between his legs, covered in cold sweat, dried tears on his face and pale skin littered with bruises. And because the bed is just as dirty, Jaebum cleans him with a towel soaked with warm water, picks him up and takes him to bed in his own room, where he contently sleeps, Jaebums arms soothingly wrapped around him. He’s long sleeping when Jackson enters the room, briefly looks up from his phone to look at his passed out members snuggling in the bottom bed. He shakes his head and climbs up the ladder.

 


	8. Chapter 4.1

Previously

“I think you’re very sexy, Youngjae”, Jaebum said, a little too blunt for his taste and also a little too confident. He couldn’t help the heat rising up in his cheeks at his words. “Please don’t misunderstand”, he kept going. They were hurled up in a faraway corner, keeping their voices low so as to leave their conversation in private. “I didn’t have the intention to use you or anything.” Youngjae blushed a deeper red.

The lights had already been out when Youngjae had come home the night before and he had just quietly crawled underneath the covers, stirring just enough for Jaebum to roll around with a murmur and wrapping himself around Youngjae before falling into a deep, content sleep.

It had taken a while, as it was already late afternoon, until they’d managed to sneak away to be alone for a moment.

“I do want to do things to you, I am not gonna lie. You turn me on, everything about you is just so admiringly erotic.” Youngjae groaned in embarrassment “Stop it, Hyung, shut up!”

“But!”, Jaebum held him by his elbows “But I wanted to make you feel good in the first place.” Youngjae wanted to die because it was so embarrassing, until he realized what Jaebum was saying in the first place.

While he was still contemplating how to phrase what had just dawned on him, Jaebum seemed to be too impatient. So he continued. “You did feel good, didn’t you?” To be fair, his tone was a little anxious, the question was still everything but decent. Youngjae shook his head, evoking a gasp from Jaebum that he could hear but not see, because he felt like he was going to faint if he looked at his Leader right now. “I mean…” Youngjae began carefully. “Sure it was… kinda… while… during…” He lost his words for a while, staring at the wall

“I didn’t know you liked boys, Hyung.” He said, hardly above whispering while he looked down on his shoes. “Well, I do”, Jaebum stated simply, a little louder than him. Youngjae was chewing on his bottom lip nervously. “You knew I liked boys?” he asked, unable to look up. Jaebum hummed. “I wasn’t sure… well now I know.”

Youngjae knew he was pulling a face when Jaebum worriedly asked “What? It’s okay, you know?”

Youngjae shook his head. “So you did that thing on good luck?”, he asked, displeased. “What if I didn’t? We’ve already got into a fight, what if we… couldn’t be friends anymore?” Jaebum was quiet at that. For such a long time that Youngjae eventually dared to look up.

Jaebum was studying his face with a serious look. “Do you think that could happen?”, he wanted to know, furrowing his brows. Youngjae opened his mouth, but closed it again and shrugged. “To be honest, I didn’t.” stated Jaebum and crossed his arms. “You.. you… that was sexual assault, Hyung!”, Youngjae complained stuttering, a little too loud, with burning cheeks and clenched fists.  
“Now you’re being over-dramatic, Youngjae-ah”, Jaebum said and Youngjae could swear he was rolling his eyes. “I got you off a few times and you liked it.”

Youngjae took a sharp breath at that statement. “I just told you, I think you’re attractive, so I just think we can help each other out a little. I don’t see how that’s going to harm our relationship.” Jaebum seemed a little too casual about this. Especially considering how anxious he seemed when he thought Youngjae hated him and even more considering the way he was tapping his foot on the ground.

“WATCHA DOIN’!”, Yugyeom suddenly yelled, coming up behind him, before Youngjae had the chance to say anything else.  
Jaebum sent him another stern glance, then they unitedly went back with the others, mutedly agreeing on continuing their conversation later.

 

Later was, as anyone could have guessed, late at night when every member finally retreated to their respective room. Youngjae sat on the bed, fidgeting with the hem of his boxer shorts that he wore for sleeping, when Jaebum entered.  
“I didn’t think I’d ever make you this nervous”, he stated while genuinely undressing.  
“Hrmph”, made Youngjae in return, pouting.

Jaebum left himself fall on the bed next to him with a sigh, not bothering to put on a shirt along with his underwear. Youngjae glanced at him and quickly averted his gaze, yelling at himself to not stare. “I don’t understand why you were so upset the other day. And I didn’t expect it either.”

“Maybe I don’t want to get _you_ off”, said Youngjae angrily. “You can’t just assault me and then think I owe you something in return!” It was the same as this afternoon. Youngjae didn’t want to look at his Hyung and Jaebum was quiet for an awfully long time. It took an eternity but then Jaebum eventually whispered “I’m sorry.”

“Well”, Youngjae answered, getting up to turn off the light , “It doesn’t matter anymore now, does it?” He switched the light off and scuttled back to the bed through the dark. “I really am sorry” Said Jaebum into the darkness as Youngjae tried to slip under the covers without touching him. He didn’t answer, but Jaebum reached for him and pulled him close, so Youngjae was pressed to his chest. “It’s not that I was planning to use you, I really want to make YOU feel good, but….” He moved his face closer to Youngjaes neck, so he was directly whispering into his ear “but I can’t help getting hard because of you.” Youngjae shuddered. He should be doing something about this, but Jaebums blunt words seemed to wander straight between his legs with a tingling sensation.  
“I don’t mean to”, Jaebum said and Youngjae felt the tiny movements of his hips against him, “but everything about you is so erotic. Being so close to you, feeling you shiver in pleasure. Hearing you moan. Touching your soft skin…” Youngjae’s penis was twitching. He felt Jaebum hardening ridiculously fast while he was talking, where their crotches were pressed together. His cheeks were probably bright red, as hot as they felt but luckily it was dark in the room. He couldn’t choke out a single word.

“Just seeing you turns me on, Youngjae” Jaebum continued, his breath tickling Youngjaes neck and ear, making the soft hairs stand up. “You don’t even know how sinful your thighs are and your perky butt. I want to devour you.” Youngjae was just a man after all. He wanted to complain, but it was hard, quite literally, against Jaebums commitment. He had never known, never even guessed that Jaebum admired him so much. He knew, like all the other members, that their leader had a soft spot for him, due to his belated arrival to the team.  
Who would have guessed his attention expanded from a caring affection to sexual appreciation?  
It felt good to be complimented like that. To know that someone found you attractive. Beautiful, maybe.

“Hyung…”, he said carefully. “Hmmh?”, made Jaebum to show he was listening even though his hands were sliding down Youngjae's back, grabbing his butt which he apparently liked so much and softly kneading it. “You know that I…” Youngjae needed most of his willpower to focus onto forming words, “That I have never done this… or anything like this.”

Jaebum giggled “You mean messed around with your groupmates? I will hope so.”  
“ _Anything_ like this”, Youngjae repeated, emphasis on the first word.  
Jaebum froze “Oh… … … I’m sorry Youngjae-ah, I didn’t know that, really.” “Hmmrph”, he made for an answer. It’s not like he was really mad about that. Plus, Jaebum's intoxicating smell was luring him in. He was smelling of soap and Jaebum and Youngjae didn’t really feel like talking anymore.

Jaebum rolled him around so that he was on his back with Jaebum above him. “Now I understand a little why you were mad, but…” “I’m not mad”, Youngjae cut him off, involuntarily moving his hips up against Jaebum, “I won’t care; if  _you_ don’t.”  
Jaebum shook his head. Youngjae could sense it more than feel it.

He was rather bold this time. He pushed up Youngjae’s shirt to bare his torso and placed his lips on his chest. Youngjae answered with a sigh and Jaebum kissed down his chest to his belly. Heat flooded Youngjae’s body; his erection grew the further Jaebum wandered downwards. He was wiggling underneath him, trying to push his bottom against him to gain some friction.

Jaebum stopped, only for a moment to dip his tongue into his bellybutton, evoking a squeak, then he went even further, not just kissing, but licking the sensitive skin so so close to his waiting length. He peeled down Youngjae's underwear to mid-thigh in a quick, single motion, making him gasp at the cool air. He placed a sweet kiss on his left thigh, then another one. His thighs must be delicious really, because after a few contacts of lips on his skin, Jaebum began nibbling at it, as if he were actually going to eat him. Youngjae sighed and squirmed impatiently. It was really arousing and his skin was more sensitive than he’d ever thought.

He didn’t get it really, though. Jackson was the one with the pretty thighs. His legs were strong and muscular and you could see the muscles moving under his skin when he was working out. He accidently left out a soft moan. His own legs were plump, all fat and no muscles. Just soft flesh, while Jacksons’ were rock hard. Wasn’t a curvy butt and thick thighs something you’d like about a girl?

Youngjae yelped in surprise when Jaebum finally had mercy and placed his rotten mouth on his shaft. He hastily grabbed for a pillow to cover his face in it and moaned even more into the soft surface as Jaebum wrapped his lips around him and took him in his mouth. He finally was about to understand why men all over the world were so obsessed with blowjobs. It felt incredible. Much much better than those sloppy hand-jobs from before.  


Jaebum circled the tip with his tongue and sucked on him with what Youngjae guessed was expertise. One sound after the other was muffled by the pillow which made the obscene wet sounds that Jaebum created even better to hear.  
Youngjae’s hips bucked on his own, so that Jaebum had to hold his hips down with a strong grip while continuing to please him without hesitation and eventually Youngjae had to get rid of the pillow because it was so hot and way too hard to breathe and instead buried his fingers in Jaebums hair for something to hold on to. He bit down hard on his bottom lip to not be too loud when Jaebum enthusiastically sped up the bopping of his head.

“…Hyung...”, he forced out, rendered unable to speak properly, hoping it was enough to let him know, before his whole body tensed and he moaned quite a bit too loud and came.  
He knew, somehow, that you weren’t supposed to do that, but it felt so good and his orgasm was intense and when he looked down he could see Jaebum making no move to stop as he kept sucking until it was all over and Youngjae was only merely gasping and panting.

“Oh god”, he whispered, face burning, “Hyung…”  
Jaebum detached himself from his lap with a more than obscene ‘pop’ and Youngjae shuddered.

Jaebum crawled up to him so that they were face to face again, obviously aware of Youngjae’s flaming red cheeks. He smirked and pressed a close-mouthed kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Why are you so cute?”, he asked and Youngjae frowned annoyed. “Why are you so lewd?”, he sassed back at him. Jaebum giggled. It was cute. He could be cute when he wasn’t trying so hard to be all chic and tsundere.

“I assume it wasn’t all that terrible then”, he continued, sounding a little too self-assured.  
He dropped down next to Youngjae on the mattress and sighed. “Do you think the others heard?”, Jaebum asked casually while showing off a fake yawn, “You can be quite loud you naughty little thing.” Youngjae slapped him on the chest. The clear slapping sound of a flat hand hitting bare skin resonated in the room along with a pained yelp.

“Ow…”, Jaebum complained but Youngjae was pouting. “You know I should punch you back.” His tone was a little whiny. “But you won’t”, Youngjae answered confidently, stretched and rolled on his belly, propping his head on his elbows. “I won’t”, Jaebum stated, “because I need your help here.” Youngjae shook his head. “You don’t wanna help me?” Youngjae tilted his head a little and studied Jaebums face. Then he shook it again.

Jaebum sighed. “Fine” and slid his hand down between his own legs.  
“Are you going to keep staring at me?”, he inquired a moment later as Youngjae didn’t move. He shrugged as much as it was possible, with his upper body leaning on his elbows. “Maybe.”

Jaebum opened his mouth, gazed at him for a moment, then closed it. “You’re a tease Youngjae”, he finally said. “Maybe”, Youngjae answered with a smirk.

Jaebum groaned in annoyance and started stroking himself. He was very hard. No matter what he said, it didn’t bother him that Youngjae was watching. Jaebum called him sexy. It made him curious.  
He sat up on his knees next to Jaebum who looked at him. Youngjae placed a hand on his own thigh and stroked up and down a few times just where Jaebum hat bitten him earlier. Jaebum choked and Youngjae could see him grab himself tighter. It was hard to believe he had this kind of effect on Jaebum. Encouraged he squeezed his own flesh, monitoring Jaebum reaction, who moaned and sat up, hazy eyes staring into Youngjaes. “A tease…”, he repeated, hoarse.  
Youngjae grabbed his wrist, pulled it off his cock and placed it on his thigh where he’d had his hand before. Jaebum squeezed so tightly it almost hurt. Cautiously Youngjae reached for his erection that was begging for attention. It was weird, but only for a bit. It felt different from wrapping your fingers around yourself but not bad. Jaebum was hot and hard in his hand and he groaned and closed his eyes, burying his face in Youngjae’s neck. “Just like that”, he whispered and kept kneading his thighs. Occasionally he reached around for his butt, stroking and squeezing the cheeks, rubbing his inner thighs while Youngjae jerked him. A few times Jaebum’s fingers wandered frighteningly high between his legs. Eventually Jaebum growled and his fingertips dugs into his skin. He came over Youngjae’s hand and gasped for breath. Finally he let go and fell back into the sheets, chest heaving. “Was that okay?” Youngjae asked shyly. “  _Okay_ ”, Jaebum snarled, “Are you kidding me?!”

Youngjae let go of Jaebums member and looked at his messy hand. Contemplating he looked down at himself, then at Jaebums face, who had not left a mess behind. He lifted his hand up to his lips, perked out his tongue and licked his finger. It didn’t taste nice. Jaebum screamed in agony. Youngjae startled and gave him a shocked look. “Stop that Youngjae”, he yelled and grabbed his wrist. Youngjae stared back at him with large eyes. What? “Are you trying to kill me? Shit. Youngjae!” Jaebum pulled at his arm until he fell and landed next to him in the sheets. He grabbed a piece of their clothes and wiped Youngjae’s hand clean to then throw it at the floor. “Let’s keep that for another time okay?” Jaebum said with a shaking voice and wrapped his arms around him tightly. Youngjae who was usually annoyed by Jaebums clingy sleeping habits, wiggled a little so Jaebum would loosen his grip. He probably couldn’t expect Jaebum not to cuddle after such a making-out session, so he just turned around and let Jaebum spoon him. He yawned and wished good night.

Maybe he could really get used to this.

 


	9. Chapter 4.2

When Youngjae wakes up he is sore and dizzy. He blinks a few times, yawns and tries to untangle Jaebum's arms from around his body. It’s way too hot. “Good morning”, says a voice, not from behind where Jaebums face is snuggled into his hair, but from above.  
He looks up. Jackson's head is dangling down from the top bed with a smug grin plastered all over it. “Morning…?”, Youngjae answers confused. Until he realizes why the familiarity of the room is so uncomfortable. It’s no longer his room. With a surprised squeal he peels Jaebum off of him and jumps out from under the covers… Only to realize that he’s completely nude underneath.

He squeaks again in embarrassment and Jackson breaks out into a fit of hyena-laugh, to which Jaebum wakes with an unhappy grumble, yells “SHUT UP”, turns around and pulls the blanket over his head. With the blanket being unavailable, Youngjaes only possibility is flight.

He runs out the door and throws it shut behind him, then flees to the bathroom and only stops when the door is securely locked behind him and he sinks down on the toilet seat. Well, that was awful.

 

His butthole is still sore as fuck, but his aching muscles are soothed a bit after a long shower. Of course he woke up in Jaebum's bed. What else? What did he have his own bed for? He moved out to stay with Mark just so Jaebum would not ravage him every night.  
He angrily grimaces at his reflection in the bathroom mirror while fixing his hair. He needs to have a word with Jaebum. This couldn’t go on.

 

In front of Jackson he pretends nothing happened and Jackson doesn’t say a word either. Jaebum however, some time during the day comes up behind him, wraps his arms around his shoulders and puts his face to the back of his neck. “You left to shower without me.” He states in a pouty tone.  
“I think I have the right to do that” Youngjae answers and frees himself to walk away.  
Jaebum is sometimes slow at understanding emotion-things, but there’s one thing he’s absolutely quick at. To realize when Youngjae is mad at him.  
He doesn’t approach him like that again that day, but when they’re free he tells everyone to leave already, pulls Youngjae into a bathroom and locks the door.

“Okay, shoot.” He says and Youngjae snorts. Everything is always that easy in Jaebum's world. “Okay then” he continues, hands raised in a surrendered gesture. “I’ll start.” Youngjae gives him a questioning glance. Why does Jaebum ask when he thinks he knows what this is about? “I am sorry for being so rough with you” It’s not what Youngjae wanted to hear really. “If it was too much, I apologize, but I think we cleared that you can ask me to stop anytime and I will, right?”

“Well” Youngjae finally answers, “then I will ask you to stop. Now.” Jaebum's face is a whole question mark. “The whole shit-talking about Jackson?” he keeps going, “Don’t you pretend I do not know what that was about! And I’m telling you to stop it! You can’t. You hear me? It’s not fair and you know that. That’s why you can’t!”  
Jaebums stares at him, puzzled. “I can’t what?” he wants to know.

“You can’t be jealous.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we're past half-time now and things are getting serious here.  
> Which is one reason why this chapter was kept short and smutless (sorry). But don't worry, there's still some in store for our two sex-addicts.


	10. Chapter 5.1

Earlier…

„Youngjae“, Jaebum murmured at his ear, hand inside his underwear, lazily stroking his hardening length, „Do you want to try… something else? “

Yes, Youngjae was a virgin. But that didn’t mean he was entirely oblivious either. He could make a pretty good guess at what Jaebum was referring to. Even he knew how sex between two men was done. He only hummed in response. He didn’t exactly hate the idea. If that’s how people usually did it, there should be something to it. But so far he was very pleased by how Jaebum made him come usually. Having Sex did not just scare him a little; it would also feel kind of final. People said having sex was something meaningful.

“I know it will be your first time, so I understand if you’re nervous. But I promise you don’t have to be afraid and whenever you don’t like it we could stop.” Jaebum explained, evoking an annoyed grumbling from Youngjae by retrieving his hand from his pants. His hard-on was pressing obviously against Youngjae’s backside. It didn’t need a psychologist to know that Jaebum was very eager about that. He was obsessed with his butt anyways, wasn’t he. “However, if you’re keeping your virginity for someone special….” Jaebum trailed off.  
Jackson came to Youngjae’s mind. Of course he did. Honestly, he’d never thought of that. He never considered his virginity as something precious, something that was supposed to be protected. It just hadn’t happened. He never had had the plan to keep it for “the right one”, there just never had been anyone really.

Jaebum was apparently too impatient to wait for an answer. He rolled Youngjae onto his back and grabbed his boxers to pull them down to his feet without further ado. “Just say stop whenever, okay?” he asked while climbing on top of him and shoving his shirt up all the way to his shoulders. Youngjae was too perplexed to react much. Jaebum leaned down to press his lips to Youngjaes neck, like he had done a few times now. Youngjae shuddered. Jaebums clothed crotch pressed down onto his own, resulting in delightful pleasure. He kissed and mouthed at his neck, Youngjae’s hand flew up to clutch his shirt, emitting soft sighs of appreciation.

Jaebum became more bold, a wet tongue darting out between his parted lips, licking a stripe up his throat to his ear, making Youngjae shiver and buck his hips. Their crotches crashed together delightfully, which in return resulted in a soft moan right at his ear. Jaebum moved down to continue what he was doing on his chest. His hot lips pressed here and there and eventually he caught a nipple between them, nipping and letting his tongue slide over it. Youngjae’s hips bucked again and he might have yelled. A shiver of pleasure darted through his body, making his scalp tingle.

Jaebum couldn’t not notice. He pressed his hips down, rubbing against Youngjae’s and did it again. This time it was definitely a moan. Youngjae bit down on his lower lip, but Jaebum, encouraged by his reaction, intensified his assault on the most sensitive piece of skin. Youngjae had never known that this was something to enjoy. Jaebum put more pressure on the little nub with the tip of his tongue, hot and raw. He sucked it between his lips, covered it entirely with his mouth, just to let got and find his other nipple, all while Youngjae was desperately trying to hold back the moans that just seemed absurd.

Jaebum kept licking and sucking and Youngjae was squirming and gasping in pleasure, tugging on his shirt. Jaebums hands wandered down his body, but there weren’t many places he could reach. He detached himself from Youngjae’s chest for a moment, giving him the opportunity to take a few shaky breaths and lifted one knee from next to Youngjae’s hip to set it down between his legs instead. It felt frighteningly normal how naturally Youngjae’s legs opened to make space for Jaebum, who knelt in between his thighs. Youngjae couldn’t help the way his cheeks burned at that. It felt too obscene.

The blush didn't go unnoticed. Jaebum's lips curled in that perverted smirk before they latched onto his nipples once again, now with the opportunity to rub the sides of Youngjae's thighs. His fingers felt very familiar, stroking his skin and squeezing the flesh. It was something he had to get used to with Jaebum, Youngjae guessed. No matter how hesitant Youngjae had just been, while half-suppressed, throaty moans escaped him and he unconsciously wrapped his legs around Jaebum's body, he felt the excitement take over. Fine. So they would be having Sex.

“Wait a second, Hyung”, he exclaimed as there was something he had to settle first. Jaebum lifted his head. His face hovered over Youngjae's close enough for him to lift himself into a kiss.  
“I can't have my first time...” He mumbled shyly, “Before I've had my first kiss.” Jaebum's brows knit into a frown immediately. “We kissed before...” he answered perplexed. “That doesn't count!” Youngjae yelled a bit and pulled at Jaebum's shirt. “It wasn't really a first kiss. It didn't feel like a first kiss.”

Jaebum's face spoke of hard thinking for a while before realization hit him and his eyes widened. “You haven't even kissed someone before?” he asked and sounded so genuinely shocked that it made Youngjae angry. “Don't act surprised, I told you.”  
“Yeah the sexy stuff but...” Jaebum stuttered, “How could I know you didn't even... Oh my god, Youngjae I am so sorry!”

“No you're not”, Youngjae scoffed between clenched teeth because Jaebum was rutting his hard-on between his legs. Jaebum had the decency to look ashamed. “I mean it. I am not sorry to be the one to take both, your first kiss and your first time. But I am sorry how it happened.” His voice was soothing and Youngjae was almost swayed to believe him. “Will now be okay for your first kiss?”

Being naked, rock hard, sweating and having the person seducing you locked between your legs, ready for sex, if Jaebum were naked too that is, probably isn't ideal. Youngjae sighed. He could imagine it later, he thought and nodded. Jaebum moved closer with a smile. Their lips met.

It was very sweet. Jaebum brushed past his lips lightly first, then put more pressure. Youngjae responded, like he did last time they kissed. A little bit inexperienced, but Jaebum didn't seem to care. He just deepened the kiss until their tongues met. It was soft and nice. More like a first kiss. Youngjae tried to focus even though the arousal had him in a tight grip. He wrapped his arms around Jaebum and held him close. The deeper they kissed, the longer it lasted, the less innocent it was. It started out as a playful one, but after a bit their breathing became heavier. Eventually Jaebum pulled away, gasping for air. “I'll have my second kiss now”, Youngjae breathed out and connected their lips again.

Their tongues found each other immediately. Jaebum kissed him with more pressure now. He claimed Youngjae's mouth, caught his lower lip between his teeth and after a bit started grinding his hips again. Youngjae moaned into his mouth over the sensations. Together with the kissing it felt even more intense than it had before. “I want to fuck you now, Youngjae-ah”, Jaebum whispered breathlessly and evoked a gasp with the blunt statement. He had to let go of Youngjae for a moment to lean over to the bedside table and rummaged through the top drawer for a moment. He retrieved a bottle that he popped open and poured some of its content on his right hand.

“Tell me if it hurts or you don't like it okay?”, Jaebum breathed at Youngjae's lips after leaning in for another short kiss. “But give it a try, please.” Youngjae didn't know what to do other than to nod. Jaebum crouched down until his head was somewhere at his navel. He put his free hand on the back of Youngjae's thigh and pushed it up. Youngjae, whose bottom felt entirely exposed now, blushed furiously.

“You don’t need to be embarrassed”, Jaebum said, softly, to which Youngjae grimaced, “but if you are, it’s okay, because you’re fucking adorable when you blush.” Youngjae hid his face under his forearms. He wanted to respond with something witty, but Jaebum placed his hand between his legs, distracting him. He couldn't help but tense at the strange feeling. Jaebum placed a warm sticky finger between his cheeks. It was such an intimate place to put your hand. Jaebum circled his entrance with his fingertip, smearing it with the lube he'd poured earlier.

When he eventually pushed his finger inside, Youngjae couldn't help the squeak. Jaebum slid it fully in and Youngjae found the pressure to be way more pleasant than he thought he would. It didn't hurt or anything but it was seriously a strange feeling. Jaebum worked his finger a few times, pulling it out a bit and pushing back in in slow, careful motions until Youngjae was a little less tense, then he pulled it out entirely. Youngjae made an involuntary sound about which he didn't know what it meant, but Jaebum murmured something that sounded like “So fucking cute.”

Youngjae's eyes were tightly shut, but he was sure that Jaebum was grinning evil when he placed two fingers against his entrance next and pushed them inside. Youngjae gasped for air. The way Jaebum's fingers entered him until he bottomed out stretched him open and he could feel them inside. Jaebum didn't hesitate to repeat the same motions as before, in and out and Youngjae grew more and more fond of it. His breathing was heavy, his legs shaking and Jaebum added to it by kissing the skin on his belly. Youngjae's lower body was impatiently squirming without his will and he kept emitting sighs and tiny moans, so Jaebum casually added a third finger with the other ones. Youngjae tensed and moaned. The stretch was just almost uncomfortable. Surprisingly enough Jaebum answered his moan with an own. “Fuck you're so hot, Youngjae” he muttered and shifted. He parted Youngjae's legs even further with his shoulders and set his lips on his thigh, busily kissing and licking. Youngjae kept on moaning. After he got used to it, three fingers were even better. Jaebum pushed them inside as deep as he could and he sped his movements. When he shoved them into Youngjae's entrance he added more force to it, resulting in a thrusting motion.

Youngjae felt incredibly hot. It was almost painful how hard he was by now, everything Jaebum did just made him feel better. He was drawing quick breaths through his mouth and had to wet his lips over and over again because they became so dry. His head fell to the side until he tensed again and threw it around. He though he was going crazy. He realized that at some time he must have grabbed the blanket as he was fisting the sheets because he needed something to hold onto.

And they hadn't even really started yet.

Jaebum placed his tongue on his thigh and licked upwards, all along his hipbones, dipping it into his belly-button and working it around his nipple a few times, before he reached his throat. “Are you ready, babe?” he asked and Youngjae, opening his eyes and gazing up just nodded frantically. He was so ready. Except when Jaebum retrieved his hand from between his legs and he immediately wanted them back. Jaebum smirked. He wiped off his wet fingers on Youngjae's thigh and then finally grabbed his own shirt and pulled it over his head. Only then he opened his jeans and pulled out his hard length with a content sigh.

Youngjae was really, really horny. And Jaebum looked so damn hot, shirtless and with his proud erection all while kneeling between Youngjae's widely spread legs. He might've licked his dry lips a little too sensual. “Oh Jesus” Jaebum cursed. Yet he took the time to get rid of his pants and underwear, then grabbed the lube again. He took Youngjae's wrist and while sending him the smuggest grin he poured the lube into his hand.

Youngjae's cheeks burned. “Freak”, he muttered, but he lifted him up far enough to reach for his Hyung's waiting hard-on. Jaebum moaned when Youngjae got a hold of it and spread the lube as evenly as he could. Jaebum was the one to decide when it was enough, by getting a hold of the back of Youngjae's knees he made him fall back on the sheets. He pulled his legs further up and positioned himself at Youngjae's waiting entrance.

Youngjae choked on his own spit when his tip pressed through his hole. It was nothing like those fingers. It was so much _more_. He was being spread open way farther and his virgin hole was resisting the intruder. Jaebum pushed forward slowly and Youngjae, fingertips clawing the blanket again, moaned. The pleasure that it evoked when Jaebum entered him went straight to his dick. With every bit he sunk deeper, the feeling became stronger. It hurt a bit, but it was so intense, the way he could feel himself stretch over Jaebum's thick hardness. When he was already pretty deep, Jaebum snapped his hips forward, sinking the last bit in a go. Youngjae threw his head back with a yelled curse. Sparks of lust shot through his body. Jaebum was so insanely deep inside him and he was cursing too, under his breath. “Fuck, Youngjae, you're so tight”, he murmured.

Youngjae was shivering in pleasure and the stinging pain that came with it. He couldn't really decide. Jaebum leaned down to him and placed heated kisses on his lips. “It'll feel good, I promise”, he mumbled and started rocking his hips in small motions. Youngjae wasn't prepared for that. He moaned again as Jaebum began a slow pace. He didn't pull out far and slid back in in a steady rhythm. Youngjae felt all of it. He moaned a little more and involuntarily copied the motions, moving his bottom against Jaebum.

For him it was enough of a green light. He pulled away farther and thrust back in with more strength. Youngjae cried out at the newfound sensation. Jaebum did it again. Youngjae slung his legs around him giving Jaebum the opportunity to place his hands on the mattress. He sped up his thrusting and Youngjae greeted each of them with more pleasured sounds. Jaebum shifted his angle a few times and also increased the force of his thrusts. Youngjae liked all, but at some point when Jaebum thrust deep inside his body he hit some place in him that had Youngjae legit screaming in pleasure. His head fell back and his spine arched off the bed. It was pure lust that traveled through him, pushing everything else aside. Jaebum copied the same motion and he succeeded. The pleasure that it evoked when he hit that spot was insane. Youngjae couldn't keep himself from crying out again. Jaebum, who was moaning lowly repeated the same thrusts again and again. And he hit that spot inside Youngjae over and over and even faster until Youngjae's mind was completely blank.  
His whole body was just lust as he was moaning and gasping and trying to comprehend. But he was too out of it. He just relished in the pleasure and each time Jaebum thrust his length into that spot was pure bliss.

They were covered in sweat, it was hot and wet and the sounds of skin hitting on skin mixed with their lustful noises. Youngjae had no idea how much time passed but he felt like this could be going on forever. He met Jaebums hips with his own, increasing the force of his thrusts, taking him deep inside and each of them brought him closer to the edge.

It was only when Jaebum lost his steady pace and his thrusting became more erratic that Youngjae knew, he was also getting closer.  
Jaebum fell in to a litany of Youngjae's name and 'Oh god's mixed into his moans whereas Youngjae just gave incoherent sounds.

It took a few more harsh snaps of Jaebums hips that hit right in the spot and Youngjae came undone. It is the most intense orgasm he has ever had. It washed over him like a wave, almost drowning him while his muscles tensed and he emitted cries of pleasure. He came over his own stomach and Jaebum's as well, who groaned loudly and followed almost immediately. Youngjae could feel him come inside, hot and deep and it sent another shiver of pleasure through him, intensifying is orgasm.

It took some time until it was all over. Both of them relished in the lingering pleasure until Youngjae's legs eventually fell back on the mattress and Jaebum pulled away and dropped down next to him. They were quiet, trying to catch their breath.

Youngjae was tired and content. That had been much better than he thought. Somebody should have told him about that magic spot.

“I knew it” Jaebum said after a long silence. “Knew what?” Youngjae curiously turned just his head to look at him. “That it would be frickin' awesome to have sex with you.” Youngjae made a half-hearted attempt to slap him for that comment, but he was too weak to manage more than a pat. “I mean it, you're so dang hot.”

Youngjae turned on his belly and buried his face in the pillow. Jaebums was smart enough to cover them with the blanket so their sweat-covered bodies would not cool out.  
He also moved closer to drape his arm over Youngjae's back, but he hardly noticed it in his already-half-sleep.

“Good night”, Jaebum whispered and kissed his hair lightly.

Youngjae had already fallen asleep.

He could get used to this. But something was a little off.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have challenged myself with some fluffy smut.  
> I think it's fine.  
> Please don't tell me it sucks.


	11. Chapter 5.2

Now

 

“Fine”, is all Jaebum has to say about that when it finally dawns on him what this is really about. He’s shrugging it off and it makes Youngjae mad. His stubborn persistence to just avoid talking is not only straining their relationship. It also angers Youngjae to have to be the grown-up. And it leaves him as the bad guy. The one who destroys what was once good. Even though it is obviously Jaebum with all his jealousness and his clinginess and his stupid growing habit of stepping over the line. Farther and more frequently.

Youngjae shakes his head. “You say that but you won’t change, will you?”  
Jaebum gives him an innocent look and a fake smile. “What do you mean?” Yougjae resonates. Upset but willing to accept a defeat. “I will sleep in my room from now on.” He says without looking at his leaders lying face. “Always.”

“I don’t get it”, Jaebum complains while running after him, when Youngjae turns to leave. “It is just more comfortable to fall asleep together after having sex.” Youngjae heads out the bathroom and walks down the hallways without looking back at Jaebum and without answering. “I don’t know why you’re always trying to get away from me.” Youngjae stops dead in his tracks, empty stare directed at the grey wall. Jaebum stops too. He sucks in a breath, hardly anything, but enough to tell Youngjae that he realizes what he just said.

Jaebum is supposed to be unaware. He’s supposed to not realize Youngjae not wanting to cuddle. He’s done that for a long time. He’s been pretending that he doesn’t know for a very long time. Youngjae can’t possibly answer. Answering would go too far. Answering would mean to break the silence. “Fine”, Jaebum says and walks past him. “Sleep where you want after you’ve had your way with me.” 

Youngjae is the bad guy again. He should be used to it but he isn’t. So many times he’s told himself that all of this is Jaebums fault. Jaebum should have known what he was getting himself into. But Youngjae will blame himself in the end. For giving in. And for putting good sex over everything else.

 

Jaebum does his best to pretend that he is all about the sex.  
“Whatever”, he keeps saying, and “I don’t care” and also “I want to fuck you so bad right now.”  
Youngjae is in despair over his Hyungs resistance against bettering himself.

“I am sore as fuck”, he answers with a sigh, “There’s no way I’m gonna let you in there.” Jaebum shoots him a mischievous grin that is on par with Jinyoung’s. “Don’t worry, hun, I got this”, he murmurs against his neck while already undressing. Almost every centimeter of Youngjae’s skin is tremendously sensitive stemming from yesterday’s abuse. Jaebum softly licks his nipples as soon as he rid him of his shirt and they burn like fire. He slides his hands over his skin and kneads his thighs and buttocks, one of his most favourite things to do. The skin there is raw and burning, evoking tortured whimpers from Youngjae. Jaebum is actually tender though, littering butterfly kisses all over his body, stroking him softly, until Youngjae dreads that he is going to please him and turn him on until he gives in to get fucked.

He is almost a 100% certain of that when Jaebum flips him over on his stomach. One careful slap on his buttcheek has Youngjae automatically raise his ass, despite the pain shooting through him, scrambling to his knees and elbows out of habit. Jaebum reaches for his pants and starts pulling the belt out of the loops. Youngjae holds his breath after a shocked gasp. His muscles involuntarily tense. It wouldn’t be the first time Jaebum spanked him with a belt.  
“I’ve always wanted to do this”, Jaebum said hoarse. “but usually just fucking you seems like the better option.”  
Youngjae casts a confused glance backwards.

Jaebum smirks and slings the belt around his legs, placing it roughly at mid-thigh and pulling it tight. With his legs tied like that Youngjae needs to focus to not lose his balance. He wants to know what’s going on, but Jaebum is already teasing his rim, rubbing his cock along Youngjae’s most sensitive parts. Youngjae is whimpering in fear and heat, his legs trembling, his hole twitching.

He doesn’t manage to form an actual sentence, then Jaebum coats his cock with a bit of spit and places the tip right below his balls. He emits a loud, deep moan when Jaebum pushes his cock through his thighs, rubbing along his balls and own erection.  
He did not see that coming.

Jaebum grabs his hips tightly and starts thrusting between his legs as if he was really actually fucking him and it feels. So. Fucking. Dirty.  
Youngjae moans again, with Jaebum rubbing along the insides of his thighs, brushing past his more sensitive spots. Youngjae has had Jaebum do incredible things of all kinds to him and yet this feels ridiculously obscene. Though, Jaebum has, since the beginning, had a somewhat unhealthy obsession with Youngjae’s legs.

It feels like actual sex, even though it isn’t, with Jaebum moving forth and back, groaning and making wet noises with his thrusts. The novelty of it is exciting enough, even though the pleasure is probably much less intense as it is for Jaebum, given the way he growls and praises Youngjae’s plush thighs. Youngjae tries to grab his own, waiting erection, but he loses his balance and eventually stops trying. However, he presses his thighs together as good as he can manage, tightening them around Jaebum, for Jaebum, who chokes out more praise, speeds his movements and finally comes over Youngjae’s stomach and the covers. 

“I’m sorry about that”, Jaebum mumbles after catching his breath and gently helps Youngjae to lie on his back. “I just love your thighs so much.” He fumbles with the belt chain, but he pulled it so tightly, he doesn’t manage to get it off. It has been a while since Youngjae last saw his Hyung like this. It is only a brief moment but hard to miss nonetheless. Insecurity.  
Youngjae tries to help him, but the belt was closed behind his legs and it is somehow just out of his reach. “Ow”, he complains about the situation and Jaebum looks in his eyes and mouthes a silent apology. The moment is extremely bizarre with Youngjae hurting and still hard and Jaebum, a sex god, finally failing with something bed-related making him more human than anything before. Including his admittedly very weird fetish. Youngjae presses his lips together, but he can’t contain it. When Jaebum finally musters up enough strength to open the belt, Youngjae bursts out into laughter.

Jaebum startles, but when he throws the belt away and drops down, half next to and half on top of him with his face in Youngjaes hair at the side of his head, he also giggles. “You’re so weird, Hyung.” Youngjae says and it feels like a glimpse of the past. Something sweet and innocent. “You’re so cute, Youngjae.” He then goes down on him with a lot of enthusiasm, which feels like an apology. A good one.

Youngjaes breath is almost back to normal. The air is cooling down and so is the mood. There’s a question in the room. He feels suffocating. He knows this moment is essential. He has to leave. It hurts and he hates it. He gets up, puts on his clothes and walks out the door, closing it quietly behind him. And does not look at Jaebum once.

 

“We have to talk.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... the following chapter is the last one that I have yet to write (Half of it) It'll hopefully be posted tomorrow.  
> And yeah. Shit's going down now :D


	12. Chapter 6.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little later than I hoped, but hey. Now it's almost finished.

Back in the days

 

Youngjae was honestly wondering whether Jaebum would approach him today again. Not even real couples had sex every day. Maybe it was the benefit of orgasm-relationships to have sex all the time. But was that even possible? Could you physically do it that often? And even more so, would he WANT that? So far he had enjoyed everything, from the sloppily being jerked off to the full-on intercourse. But it was a scary thought to be doing that every day. His butt was still sore, even almost 24 hours later. And even if Youngjae knew whether he wanted it or not…. Did Jaebum? Would he, now that he’d gone all the way with Youngjae, be satisfied and stop?

Little did Youngjae know yet, that some time in the future he would think back to the day where he thought Jaebum could ever get tired of having sex with him and break out into a fit of laughter out of nowhere, startling a confused Yugyeom that had fallen asleep on his shoulder.

“My butt hurts”, he said nonchalantly as soon as their door fell shut in the evening. Jaebum looked back over his shoulder while he turned the key. “I’m sorry about that, hun”, he answered and Youngjae blushed over the pet name. “It’ll go away I promise”, he continued as he walked over to the bed and sat down. “Come here, I’ll rub your back, it’ll make you feel better.” Youngjae was eager to not only hurry over to the bed but also take off his shirt on the way. It was only when he threw himself on the mattress belly-first that a hint of doubt came to his mind. Honestly, he loved Jaebum’s skilled hands. He sometimes massaged Youngjae’s shoulder and it usually felt really good. Though Jaebum was scarcely handing out massages, everyone in the group knew his were the best…- And also knew to never let Jinyoung anywhere near your neck, just sayin’.  
However, only now he wondered if Jaebum could still do that to him now without it feeling… somewhat sexual? Was this even supposed to be an innocent shoulder massage? Youngjae placed his forehead on his crossed forearms and took a deep breath. He couldn’t really change his mind now, could he.

“Youngjae-ah!” Jeabum scolded, “At least take off your jeans, seriously that’s not even comfy.” He dug his hand under Youngjae’s hips to pop open the button and fly of his jeans, making him shudder. Then he pulled it down by grabbing the legs. He would not have done _that_ before. Youngjae was only left with his underwear when Jaebum climbed on top of him and settled on his butt. Okay this was indeed a little awkward. But Jaebum didn’t seem to mind. He placed his warm hands on Youngjae’s back and provoked some serious goosebumps with that. He was very gently stroking his skin, massaging his neck and shoulder with his thumbs.

Youngjae eventually relaxed. It was comfortable and he yawned and closed his eyes. If Sex also granted him leader-massages it was just another upside that he would accept gladly. He almost fell asleep. Until Jaebum leaned down that is, and pressed a close-mouthed kiss onto his shoulder blade. “Are you serious, Hyung?” Youngjae complained. With the shift in position he could easily feel Jaebum's hard-on press into the small of his back.

Jaebum didn't even bother to play innocent. “Absolutely”, he murmured against Youngjae's neck and kissed it. It elicited goosebumps how a tingle traveled through his body where Jaebum placed his lips. “You're so thirsty” Youngjae complained into the pillow. “Oh, I definitely am”Jaebum's hips were grinding down against his butt in small motions while he kissed his neck and shoulders and back. “But I told you, my butt hurts already.” Youngjae whined.  
“It's fine, we'll find a way to get off. I can still screw you next time.” The words got yelled curses and verbal complaints out of Youngjae, which were probably exactly Jaebum's intention.

They also turned Youngjae on, just a little bit. So was the kissing and mouthing at his neck. Though he really tried to play unaffected. For some reason Youngjae thought, if he could get Jaebum off without the need to come himself... that would somehow be a victory. And the only one he could achieve in this situation.

“You remember, Hyung” he asked, “about the thing you said to keep for next time? How about now being next time?”  
Jaebum gasped in honest surprise. “Woah, Youngjae. You're always pretending to be shy when I say such things. But you're really just complaining about my blunt choice of words, aren't you? In reality your mind is just as dirty.”

Youngjae grimaced and turned on his back to slap his chest. Jaebum playfully held the place that was slapped and rolled off the bed to take his clothes off. Youngjae had to take a deep breath when Jaebum pulled his pants down and his hard cock sprung free. He tried to shake off the memories of having it inside him that sent a tingling between his legs.  
He shouldn't be getting horny now.

To distract himself and also Jaebum he slid off the bottom of the bed, feet first and sinking to his knees. Then he reached out his hand for him to lead him to sit on the edge. Jaebum choked. “Oh god Youngjae, you're killing me.” he cried out, holding a hand over his heart. “Why are you so sexy-innocent?”

Youngjae grumbled in response and pulled his hand back. Jaebum walked over and sat on the end of the bed without his help anyways. Youngjae turned to him, sitting back on his heels between Jaebum's knees and found himself faced with his expectantly standing length. Jaebum cradled his head with one hand, clenching his jaw. “I could come on your face from you just sitting there like....” Jaebum mumbled, swallowing the rest of the sentence. Youngjae would never find out like what he was sitting. He chewed his bottom lip nervously and swallowed hard. Maybe he had been too fast forward about this.

“It's fine Youngjae-ah”, Jaebum said softly, petting his hair, “I won't make you do anything you don't want and if something isn't good I will just tell you, okay? I'm not expecting you to be a pro when you have no experience.” Youngjae nodded. It bugged him that Jaebum was sometimes predatory lewd and sometimes loving sweet.

He took Jaebum's erection in his right hand, something he was at least a little confident about as to having done it before, evoking a small sigh. Youngjae leaned forward and brought his lips to Jaebum's tip. Jaebum moaned when he pressed a kiss on it. He opened his mouth, just enough to stick his tongue out and give it an experimental lick. Another soft moan. Youngjae felt his own cock twitch. He licked along the shaft and every motion got either a sound of pleasure or a helpless movement out of Jaebum. It urged Youngjae. He could pleasure Jaebum with so little.

When he opened his mouth wider, wide enough to fit the tip between his lips, he glanced up to Jaebum's face as if looking for encouragement. It wasn't a conscious motion, but it had Jaebum keen. Youngjae didn't know Jaebum had been looking down on him while he'd been trying out. But the sight was too much for Jaebum. He gave a tortured sound and his hand that was still in Youngjae's hair balled into a fist. The pull gave a slight sting. Youngjae shuddered as a tingling sensation was sent from his scalp through his whole body and between his legs.

He closed his lips over Jaebum. He was hot and big in his mouth and responded with a tiny buck of his hips. Youngjae couldn't help it. Jaebum losing himself over Youngjae sucking him was a major turn-on. When he licked his tongue over the tip he slid his free hand down his body and behind the waistband of his panties. He grabbed his half-hard cock and let Jaebum sink a little deeper into his mouth.

Each of Jaebums groans was a reward to keep going and to do better. He started bopping his head, up and down on Jaebum's length while rubbing his own. It was a little sloppy. He wasn't sure his he should close his lips with pressure or if he should use his tongue against the shaft, which turned out to be pretty difficult with such a large object in your mouth. There was a lot of spit and he had to pull back a bit to swallow the excess saliva. Jaebum was breathing hard and Youngjae realized, he was too.

He didn't feel that Jaebum was going in very deep, so he tried to relax his throat and moved forward to fit as much as he could manage. Jaebum's length hit the back of his throat and made him gag. Jaebum cursed under his breath “Fuck, Youngjae” and his nails dug into his skull. Youngjae's dick twitched insanely in his own hand. He wasn't sure how good or bad that just was, but he did it again and Jaebum cursed some more. The more often he tried the deeper he could slide him down his throat and it made it hard to breath, but he slid it back out until just the tip was in his mouth and took a deep breath and then surged forward again.

Jaebum's curses and groans got louder and Youngjae was furiously flicking his wrist, jerking himself off. He moaned around Jaebum, Orgasm pending while he kept sucking with all he had. “Oh my god, Youngjae, I...” Jaebum broke off, gasping for air and Youngjae looked up at his face again. It contorted in please and he yelled and the hand on his head held him in a steel grip as Jaebum's hips bucked forward, thrusting his cock deep down Youngjae's throat. He gagged, then he felt Jaebum release inside, filling his throat with his hot cum. Youngjae's fingers curled tightly around himself and he moaned in the middle of the entire mess and came over his own hand.

Jaebum pulled his head off by his hair. Some more cum landed on his tongue and his lips as his cock slipped out. Youngjae coughed and fought for air and swallowed all the sticky fluids that were filling his mouth. “Shit, Youngjae, shit, I am so sorry, that shouldn't have...” Jaebum let finally go of his hair and wiped the mess off his face with his bare hand. “You were so hot when you looked up like that with your hot mouth wrapped around me, I just... Jesus...”

Youngjae wasn't entirely sure what it was that Jaebum was apologizing about, but he pulled a face nonetheless. “It tastes bad, Hyung”, he said with a pout. Jaebum groaned frustrated. “You're killing me, Youngjae-ah” he said and it seemed to be one of his favorite sentences. “Okay, fuck it. Come up here and let's take care of you for now.” He said, back in his soft voice.  
Youngjae retrieved his hand from his underwear and placed it nonchalantly on Jaebum's knee. It was unmistakably wet. “I'm done.” he said and used the leverage to scramble to his feet. His knees hurt.

Jaebum looked at the mess on his leg and pretended to pass out. He let himself fall back into the sheets with a whimper. “I give up.” He said, whiny, “You're way too sexy and way too dirty to be even human.” Youngjae kicked him against the shin and took his messy underwear off. “I could fuck you again right now.” Jaebum said and found a packet of tissue to do some basic cleaning.

“In your dreams” Youngjae scoffed, accepted to have his hand wiped and climbed into the bed. Jaebum snuggled close as soon as he'd turned the lights off. “I hope we will be doing a lot more of this in the future.” He murmured against the side of Youngjae's neck. “If awesome sex isn't the best addition to having such a lovable dongsaeng.”

Youngjae closed his eyes without answering.  
Yes, it was great. It was way better than secretly jacking off somewhere moderately private, which obviously all the members did, but pretended they didn't. He didn't know what caused Jaebum to suddenly come up with this idea. But he had to admit that it soothed his Jackson-related heartache. If there weren't something nagging away at him. Something related to how Jaebum never really clarified just why they were doing this.

In the darkness, listening to Jaebum's calm breathing, he was suddenly overcome with a dreadful thought.

But no.

He shook it off and fell asleep.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually hate writing blowjobs, so this was a real pain. But in the end it wasn't sooo bad. And yeah... Jaebum shouldn't be that thirsty, but if Youngjae is all innocent and cute, what will you do.


	13. Chapter 6.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit will be going down now.  
> Beware of emotions.  
> You shall be warned.

Just now

 

Youngjaes head snaps up. Mark is sitting in his gaming chair, but the computer is turned off, neither does he wear headphones. He is facing the door and looking at Youngjae. But it wasn’t his voice. Jinyoung is sitting on Youngjaes bed, legs crossed and a stern look on his face. Youngjae shudders. He doesn’t like this. He looks back at Mark who makes him more comfortable. He wants to sit, but not next to Jinyoung. Mark gets up and offers his chair. He somehow always knows. Youngjae sinks down on it while Mark places himself to Jinyoungs left, saying “Don’t worry Youngjae, we’re on your side.” But Youngjae doubts that, especially when glancing at Jinyoung again.

It stays quiet. Youngjae won’t say anything first, even if his life depends on it. “Look, Youngjae”, Mark finally says after exchanging threatening looks with his friend, unbeknownst to Youngjae, “We don’t plan on telling you what to do with your life. We just think that… it’ll affect us, and I mean all of us, when this thing… ends badly.” The way he pronounces ‘ _thing’_ makes Youngjae close his eyes and take a deep breath, asking for patience from the heavens. He felt intimidated until just now, but it switches to anger immediately. They know that it’s none of their fucking business, but they still pry into it. He already has to deal with Jaebum and now this.

“You may think it’s all about you, but it isn’t”, Jinyoung chimes in, “I hate how you’re hurting Jaebum-hyung and I want you to stop.” So that’s what this is all about. So much for being on his side.  
Youngjae hears a slapping noise and lifts his head just quickly enough to see Mark hitting Jinyoung on the shoulder. “You’re not helping. Get out”, he commands and even though Jinyoung hesitates, he neither dares to disobey a direct order.

Once the door falls shut behind him, Youngjae gets up to take his spot on the bed. He doesn’t say a word, but he does something he didn’t do in a while. He cries.

Mark quietly holds him for a long time while he sobs and whines. Only when he’s drained and his tears finally dry out does Mark speak. “Do you want to talk about it?”, he asks softly and when Youngjae shakes his head he answers “Okay” with a nod and leaves it be.

When it is bedtime, Mark climbs into his own bed and Youngjae snuggles under his blanket, head aching. “Even if you don’t want to, you will have to talk to someone at some point.” Mark speaks into the darkness. “If you’re not going to talk it out with Jaebum, talk to me or Jackson at least.” Youngjae rubs his swollen eyes. “Jackson?” he asks weakly. “Sure” Mark sounds cheerful enough. “You know he despises disharmony. And he advises well, unlike me, but I will listen.” “I cannot talk to Jackson, you should know that.” Youngjae mumbles unhappily. “Why?” Mark inquires. It sounds genuine and even though it’s just one word, it tells Youngjae more than a thousand. He doesn’t know.

  
Just now he thought they knew everything. He thought everybody knew everything. He just assumed his life was an open book with everyone to see his suffering. But they didn’t.  
What if that wasn’t the only thing they didn’t know? It was an unwritten rule to not talk about what was going on between Jaebum and him even though some things were obvious. But they were the only ones who really knew. Who knew all of it. It was them.

 

The van is a funeral.

Even the driver notices something is wrong, but he knows better than to inquire. The mood is depressing. Jinyoung is upset, Jaebum absent, Mark thoughtful. Jackson and the maknaes are in the backseat, exchanging looks but intimidated enough to stay quiet. And Youngjae is gloomy. Jaebum cast him a few glances earlier. Somewhere between curious and worried. Everyone is able to tell from Youngjaes puffy eyes if they haven’t heard him through the thin walls the night before anyways.

Everyone is tiptoeing around him for the whole day and Youngjae hates it. Mark tries a few encouraging smiles, but he shakes his head. It sucks.

When they return to their dorm, Youngjae makes a decision. This cannot go on and he can think of only one way to fix things. First things first. He needs to get the members off his back. He barges in his old rooms’ door without knocking and interrupts a conversation. Jackson and Jaebum, who had been casually talking fall silent. “Jackson, go stay with Mark or BamBam today”, he says. Jackson gets up hesitatingly, halts and casts Jaebum a frowning glance. Youngjae expects an encouraging nod, but Jaebum returns the frown. Youngjae hold the door open and taps his foot. Eventually Jackson takes a few slow steps and walks out, looking back at them.

“Youngjae-ah…” Jaebum starts when he closes and double locks the door. “Shut up”, he answers and unzips his hoodie. One clothing item after the other hit the floor as he takes them off. Jaebum sits frozen in place while he’s undressing and even when he steps forward and climbs on his lap like god made him. “Now make me scream!” He orders, seductively at Jaebums ear. Jaebum does wrap his hands around his waist, but he hesitates. Youngjae feels it and he also sees the doubt in his Hyungs’ eyes when he looks at him. He won’t be able to resist, Youngjae knows that. No matter how much he doubts Youngjae’s motives. Youngjae leans forward to presses their lips together. It’s a messy, wet kiss that lasts forever. Youngjae gives it his all, playing with his tongue and working his hips over Jaebums crotch. “Will you do me now or what?” Youngjae asks, teasing, but impatient, followed by ragged breaths. Yes, he is hot. He’s turned on already, rubbing his naked butt over Jaebums crotch got him hard. And even though his erection is bulging his jeans visibly, Jaebum doesn’t do anything.

Frustrated, Youngjae gets up and climbs on the bed behind him. Jaebum turns his head, follows him with his eyes. Lewd, Youngjae puts on a show, tweaks his nipple, plays with the nubs, licks his lips and uses his free hand to stroke the inside of his thigh. He kneels, legs spread, then he turns around, sticks his butt out towards Jaebum. He bends over, so far that his chest comes to lie on the mattress. It’s an uncomfortable position and a degrading one at that. Jaebum loves it. “Make me your bitch”, he demands, no longer pretending, but actually needy. He gets his hands behind himself to grab his cheeks and spread them open even further. Finally Jaebum shifts. He rustles with his clothes and the bedside table while Youngjae patiently waits. It takes forever. Youngjae lifts his upper body to look behind him. Jaebum is gone. He looks around the room and it is empty. “Jaebum-Hyung?” he asks, scared and confused. “Hyung…”

“What’s wrong Youngjae-ah?” Jaebum asks and Youngjae’s eyes fly open. Cold wind comes in through the open car door and Youngjae sits up. He’d sunken against the window. The others are gone, only Jaebum is next to him, holding his shoulder. “Bad dream?” he asks sweetly and unfastenes Youngjae’s seatbelt. Youngjae just nods absent-mindedly. “You look hot, are you sick? Do you have a fever?” Jaebum inquires in a seriously worried tone. Youngjae is probably all red already so it doesn’t stand out that he’s blushing.

“Come on, I’ll get you to bed.” Jaebum pulls him out the car and when he squats down to pack Youngjae piggyback, he complies and climbs on his back. Luckily no one but Jaebum can hear the desperate moan he breathes against his neck when his hard-on comes in contact with Jaebum’s backside. Jaebum does his best to contain himself. “Your room?” he asks, only a little bit crooked. “No”, whispers Youngjae in his ear.

Jaebum lets Youngjae fall on his bed and non-verbally throws Jackson out. “I assume the dream wasn’t really bad then” Jaebum concludes while he undresses himself. Youngjae tries as well, but he’s a little shaky, so Jaebum takes over. “A little bit of both” answers Youngjae who figures the truth is a little too complicated. He reaches for the bedside table and pours a decent amount of lube on his hand. His butt is still a little sore, so he takes matters into his own hand to coat Jaebums cock with it, at the same time helping it to full size.

“What did you dream about?” Jaebum wants to know, persistent, as he turns Youngjae to lie on his stomach. “Does it matter?” Youngjae wiggles his butt, impatient enough already. “Oh it does” He kneels between his legs and pushes them further apart with his knees, then positions himself at Youngjae’s waiting hole. He leans down, pinning Youngjae’s hands left and right of his shoulders. “It matters, little Youngjae, because you’ve been moaning my name in your sleep.”  
Then he slides his length inside Youngjae’s body in one sharp thrust, bottoming out and making both of them moan. His hole is being forced open, stretching over Jaebum’s length painfully, but so familiar. Youngjae struggles against Jaebum’s grip. Because his sore entrance is protesting despite the large amount of lube, but also because he wants to answer. He can’t, because Jaebum doesn’t give him the time to catch his breath. He thrusts, his hips meeting Youngjae’s full cheeks with an audible snap. Youngjae’s body takes it with pleasure, shuddering, his erection rubbing against the sheets. There’s no better feeling the world than being impaled on Jaebum’s cock, thick and hard, filling his body with nothing but lust.

Youngjae’s fingers dig into the soft surface where they are pinned down. He’s caught. Defeated. He belongs and Jaebum fucks him good. Youngjae moans at the sensations. His muscles, skin and his greedy hole, none of them fully recovered yet are overly sensitive. He feels the exhaustion immediately. His ring of muscles clenches down on Jaebum’s length from the abuse and Jaebum groans above him. He praises Youngjae’s body, his tightness, his heat. The way he takes him in, encloses him. The noises he makes.

The thrusts are hard and deep and Youngjae’s moans get louder and louder while Jaebum takes him, shoving his cock deep inside. Jaebum adds his teeth into the mix, wedging them into the side of Youngjae’s neck. Youngjae demands more. He’s choking out “Harder” and “Faster” even though he’s already seeing stars. Jaebum’s stamina is commendable, ramming into him over and over, making Youngjae’s body slide over the mattress, rubbing it against his trapped erection. Youngjae is finally screaming in pleasure, straining his voice every time Jaebum hits his sweet spot. He’s glad to be already lying down or he might’ve collapsed, while moans and screams fall off his lips. He’s so loud, they must all hear.

Youngjae is on the edge. When Jaebum’s thrusts become uneven, when his teeth let go and he groans in his ear instead Youngjae let’s himself go. He moans out loudly, his body tenses. Jaebum comes first. He releases deep inside Youngjae with a few harsh thrusts that send him over. The orgasm is intense, but Jaebum pulls out before it’s halfway over. He let’s go of Youngjae completely, whose body is shuddering, crouches down and the next thing Youngjae knows is something large and hard pushing through his abused entrance. The puffy hole takes it and Youngjae cries out. Jaebum shoves his whole fist inside, stretching Youngjae open beyond imagination and presses it down on his G-Spot. Youngjae’s whole body spasms. His ring of muscles tenses around Jaebum’s wrist, he’s shaking and screaming as his vision turns dark. The orgasm knocks him out, the lust overwhelming. It lasts forever, the pleasure seemingly neverending. Jaebum won’t stop either, simulating a thrusting cock with his hand, forcing more and more out of Youngjae’s wrecked body until Youngjae’s voice breaks and his muscles stop contracting.

When the light comes back Youngjae blinks a few times. He’s exhausted and confused. “Did you really pass out?”, he hears Jaebum’s curious voice. Youngjae is shivering. “Fuck you” he mutters, it is hardly a whisper, but he has no energy for anything else. He wants to sleep now. Sleep and forget. Jaebum kisses his hair gently, his warm fingers sliding over his back. Youngjae falls asleep under his loving touch. It’s an exhausted, dreamless sleep. A bliss.

 

 

 

When Youngjae awakes, the world is bright and normal. He feels sore but content. He wakes in Jaebum’s arms who holds him in his teddy bear grip, face buried in his hair and mildly snoring. Youngjae stirs, turns around in his hold and wakes him in the process. Jaebum grumbles annoyed, but Youngjae won’t let him flee back into his dreams. He grabs Jaebum’s face and presses a soft kiss on his lips. His eyes flutter open with a sleepy sound in the back of his throat.

He looks at Youngjae, who leans in and kisses him again. Then again, parting his lips and playing with his tongue. It’s a gross morning breath kiss, but he deepens it nonetheless. It’s not sexual, but intimate. Jaebums kisses him back but when Youngjae pulls away he blinks in confusion.

“Your time is up”, Youngjae states soft, but serious. He can see the terror in his leader’s eyes at the words. “What?” Jaebum’s voice is raspy, “No…”

“Yes”, Youngjae is going to be adamant about this. “It’s become bothersome and you know that.” He needs to put his finger on Jaebum’s lips to keep him from protesting, “too much trouble, too much drama.” The way they’re embracing like lovers, naked, gazing into each other’s eyes; all that renders his words complete nonsense. But everything about them is utterly nonsensical, so he doesn’t care. “There’s no reason to keep this going. Let’s end it.”

Jaebum shakes his head. “You’re lying.” He sounds hysterical enough. “That’s bullshit and you know it. Nothing needs to change. It’s fine. We’re fine.”  
Youngjae forces a smile. A sad one. “No. We’re not.”

Jaebum is the one to break their embrace. He sits up, the blanket falling off his naked torso and stares down at Youngjae who merely turns on his back but doesn’t bother to get up. “Stop saying things like that. It makes no sense. You couldn’t do a week without a dick up your gay ass.” An angry Jaebum tends to be a hurtful Jaebum, but his words can’t get to Youngjae. “Stop it, Hyung” he merely says, calm and collected, which makes Jaebum even more furious.  
“Don’t give me that attitude!” he demands, jaw tensing, “I’d give you three days then you’ll come to me on your knees begging for cock.”

Youngjae sighs, “if you truly believed that you wouldn’t be so upset.” Jaebum opens his mouth to object, but it’s Youngjae’s turn. He finally gets up and searches for his underwear. “Stop” Jaebum commands, but his voice changed. He sounds weak. “If you have nothing else to say I am going to head for a shower” Youngjae ignores him and puts on his boxers. “I said stop…” Jaebums voice breaks. When Youngjae looks back at him his heart receives a crack. He’s still sitting in the same spot; his shoulders hang low, his face shows despair. “Why?” Youngjae asks.

Jaebum’s mouth opens and closes, but no sounds can be heard.

“Tell me!”

Jaebums stares at him, motionless, quiet.

“Say it.” Youngjae speaks in the softest, most encouraging voice he can manage. He doesn’t want to hurt Jaebum, but there isn’t another way. Playtime is over. Their agreement expired. If they keep going like this it’ll cost him his sanity.

 

Jaebum’s lips part.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the filth, because we're almost through.


	14. Chapter 7.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter 7. It's the last one and it's short.  
> It's mean I know, I am sorry, but it seems that if they finally open their stupid mouth, it's suddenly not as hard anymore to get their shit together.

That one fateful day

 

It happened. Youngjae couldn’t tell when it did. It wasn’t like it just came out of nowhere, springing into existence in a blink. No, it probably came slowly.

The first time it’s just a “What if…. “ Quickly followed by a “Mhhh no no. Can’t be”. Immediatly forgotten.  
Then there is a “Maybe…” But it’s dismissed with an “As if”.  
These moments, scarce at first, happen more frequently over time and whenever they do, they give You an uncomfortable feel and leave a bitter taste in their aftermath.

Without you really noticing the feeling becomes stronger. Ever so slightly, yet consistent. Almost unnoticeable while it grows, until one day it hits you over the head with a brick and you ask yourself ‘how could you be so blind?’; How could you, -consciously and unconsciously at the same time- avoid thinking about it, only because it was too scary?

The brick was a pair of raw, dry fingertips that, no matter how careful they were, always felt a little raspy on his skin, painting random patterns on his face and chest in slow motions.  
Youngjae was breathing hard in the aftermath of an orgasm that seemingly got a little better each time. He was lying flat on his back, sweat slowly cooling his skin, long strands of hair stuck to his face eyes directed at the ceiling.

Jaebum had propped himself on his right elbow, lying on his side and using his free hand to softly pet Youngjaes upper body. “You know”, Youngjae said lowly after a bit… “I don’t like to, but I must admit you’re pretty decent at this.”  
“Oh well, thank you Sir”, Jaebum answered with a sarcastic snort, “And with ‘this’ I assume you mean ‘fucking’? (Youngjae made a displeased noise) Because we’ve been screwing like rabbits and you’re no longer innocent enough to be considered cute for not taking dirty words in your mouth.” “I hate you”, Youngjae stated matter-of-factly. He expected a sassy return, most likely a filthy joke about putting something else in Youngjae’s mouth, but Jaebum just stayed silent.

His fingertips were still ghosting over his skin. Youngjae turned his head, just a little, to tear his eyes away from the ceiling and glance at his leader. Jaebums face came into his view, handsome, attentive and in the faint yellow light his eyes were glowing. They were looking at him, right at him and through. And a shiver ran down Youngjae’s body. And it happened.

The realization dawned on him. And it hit him like a stroke and yet he felt as if he’d known from the very first moment. Known that what they had was nowhere near meaningless sex.

That Jaebum was undoubtedly in love with him.

 

 

Youngjae couldn’t sleep that night. He turned and shifted and threw himself around, unable to find a comfy position even after Jaebum had long fallen asleep soundly. His mind was racing and so was his heart. How would he talk to Jaebum? How would they talk about the matter?  
Did Jaebum think they were ‘dating’? Did he know? Did he know about Youngjae’s feelings for Jackson? Was he expecting something specific?

Youngjae monitored Jaebum closely the next day.  
He could not make out something about his behavior that was anything other than the same Hyung and Leader he’s always known. Sure, if there were anything, he’d noticed much sooner, wouldn’t he? 

He couldn’t, in the end, say anything. Briefly he thought about refusing to sleep with Jaebum again. That would have been a sign that was easily understood. But admittedly, he enjoyed the sex and even though the  _start_ of their little adventures had not changed much about their relationship… their  _end_ probably would.

It was much easier to pretend, wasn’t it? He pretended not to know, yet made sure to set clean straight lines that were not to cross and somehow Jaebum complied. Youngjae really wondered how much Jaebum knew, until one day he found himself in a tickle war with Jackson on the sofa and when he eventually lost and sat up, gasping for air with tousled hair and burning cheeks and a blessed grin, he spotted Jaebum in a corner of the room, looking at him with a marmoreal stare. And there he understood just how much Jaebum knew.  
He could not avoid dropping his eyes in an ashamed and apologetic gesture for a second before he caught himself. And when he took another glance, he saw how Jaebum was processing for a moment, then visibly draw the conclusion that yes, Youngjae also knew.

They stared at each other for a while, completely still and yet communicating.  
And when Jaebum finally pushed himself off the wall to walk away, they came to a silent agreement.

That they would not speak of it.

 

 


	15. Chapter 7.2

“I love you.”

 

They are the most surreal words Youngjae ever heard from Jaebum. And yet Jaebum said them a million times before. It feels peaceful.

“I know.” Youngjae answers. “But thank you for telling me.”  
Jaebums blinks, quickly. Youngjae sends a prayer that he won’t cry. “We can’t lie to each other anymore.”

Jaebum nods. “Then tell me.”  
“You don’t want that” Youngjae states and he means it, but Jaebum nods again. “You said to not lie. Now tell me the truth.” Youngjae hesitates. It’s worse than he imagined to be on the other side and he secretly admires Jaebum’s bravery. “You have to say it out loud or I won’t accept it.”

Youngjae takes a deep breath. “I am in love with Jackson.”

Jaebum gets up, eventually. “Still?” he asks even though they both know he knew that.  
He comes up to Youngjae, cradles his head and kisses him sweetly. Youngjae’s eyes close on their own as they kiss. “Tell me one more thing” Jaebum moves away far enough to look at him. “Do you love me?”

Youngjae has to swallow the lump in his throat. He can’t lie. He should. Or rather the truth should simply not  _be_ the truth. It’s wrong and he is aware of it. Jaebum would know when he’s lying. 

“Yes.” Youngjae’s voice is shaky, but every other answer would be a lie. Of course he does. He can't think back to a time when he didn't. But it is not that easy. There's love and then there's love. There’s no surprise in his Hyung’s eyes. “Then love only me.” It’s not a plea. It’s an order. “Jackson will never see you that way.” “How can you know?”, Youngjae whines even though the question is stupid. “We all know that, even you” Jaebum answers nonetheless.

Youngjae places his hands on Jaebum’s naked chest and pushes him off. “I need space.” Jaebum lets it happen but he isn’t done. “Having you was selfish.” Youngjae wraps his arms around himself. He’s suddenly freezing and he scared of Jaebum's words. “I know that, but I don’t regret it. I AM selfish.” Jaebum sounds way too confident considering the situation. “I seduced you because I  _wanted_ you. From the very first moment I laid eyes on you and you were hardly more than a boy, I have been head over heels for you.”  
Youngjae can’t keep looking at him. He doesn’t want to hear, but at the same time he had been the one to make Jaebum talk. “Loving you has driven me crazy and fucking you has allowed me keep my sanity. I know that it was mean. But I didn’t just do it to calm my heart. I did it to make you love me.” Youngjae shakes his head while looking at the floor.

  
“It doesn’t work that way.” It’s Youngjae’s thought but Jaebum’s voice to phrase it. “But I am not asking you to fall for me. I am not asking you to crush on me. I am not asking to make your heart flutter. I am not asking for butterflies in your stomach. I am asking you to  _love_ me. And love is learnt. You can, Youngjae, you can love me and you will. That is why I never gave you up.”

Youngjae’s eyes water. One tear rolls down his cheek and falls to the floor. Then a second. He keeps shaking his head, his hands clenched into fists.

Jaebum is shameless. He is shameless and frightening.  
Youngjae wants to yell at him and tell him off. He wants his heart to stop hurting.  
He wants things to be well.  
He knows that everything would be well if he just could, but no matter how much he tried. “I can’t…” he whimpers. Jaebum steps closer again. He softly pets Youngjae’s head and rubs his back. Youngjae presses his face into the crook of his neck and sobs. “Are you sure?” Jaebum’s inquiry is light as a feather. Youngjae nods.

Jaebum takes a very deep breath. He can feel his chest heave. “Then lie to me.”  
It feels like someone crushes his heart with an iron fist. Youngjae cries and cries and Jaebum holds him and repeats the same words. “You can do it. We've done it. You can. Lie to me.”

Until Youngjae straightens his back, brings his lips to Jaebums ear and holds his breath long enough to stop the sobbing.

Then he lies.

 

“I love you.”

 

 

**THE END**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mwahahahahaha.  
> Now how's that for an ending?
> 
> Thank you for reading. Now go and cry over Jaebum's fate.
> 
> I'm shitting you, there's a epilogue.


	16. Epilogue

Youngjae has a big mouth.

It can fit a lot of things. Like a microphone. Or Jaebum's boy parts.  
But the bite Jackson offers him is just way too large. He tries to refuse but Jackson shoves it in his face. The others are laughing. Youngjae chokes while trying to chew, he coughs and half of the food lands back back on Jackson. He freezes with a sour expression, very Jackson-ish. The others laugh harder. Even Youngjae breaks out into laughter and more pieces of half chewed food end up on Jackson's face and Jacket.  
It is hilarious even though Youngjae almost suffocates.

When they all calmed down and Youngjae finally manages to swallow the bit that he had actually managed to keep in his mouth, Jaebum offers him a sip of water. Youngjae accepts it and drinks while Jaebum gently and secretly rubs his back. “You never spit out anything  _I_ feed you”, he whispers in his ear while the others are distracted. It's been a long time since a sentence like that could make him blush. “Watch your mouth or I'll shut it”, he answers and throws in an unremarkable kick against his leg under the table.

There is no need to be secretive really. They are the only customers and the members know anyways. They can hear most of which the two of them do at night, obviously. Jackson sometimes makes a heart sign. BamBam sometimes simulates to throw up on his breakfast. But there's a certain routine to the secrecy that makes him feel at ease.

When they are walking back to the dorm later, Jaebum holds his hand.

“I'm glad you two are still happy”, Jackson says later, his head dangling from the top bunk. It's his usual way to communicate with the bottom inhabitants. Youngjae looks up at him. “What do you mean?”, he inquires. Jaebum is still in the bathroom.  
“You know that time way back when you moved out of this room? You had quarrels. I was wondering what you had been fighting about. I asked Mark, but he didn't know either.” Jackson babbles lightheartedly. “What makes you think it was any of your business?” Youngjae is pouting. “Ah, well. I just didn't like it. You're so cute together. You were a cutie couple before but you became even cuter after you made up.”  
Youngjae looks at his severed head, contemplating. “You think we're a nice couple?” Jackson nods enthusiastically. “Sometimes when I see you I wish _I_ were gay.”

Youngjae doesn't answer. They've been a cute couple when they pretended to not have feelings. And became a cuter couple when they pretended to be one. As Jaebum comes back he turns off the lights and orders sleep. Jackson rustles with his blanket. Their leader climbs into the bed and snuggles up to Youngjae. “Good night sweetie” He whispers, hardly audible as to not disturb their roommate. “I love you.”

It's silent for a moment, then Youngjae brings his lips to Jaebum's ear. And even lower he answers. “I love you too.”  
“You're lying to me” Jaebum complains, but Youngjae wraps his arms and legs around Jaebum to hold him as closely as possible. “Not today. I won't lie anymore. I love you.”

The silence that follows is full of tension. Jaebum makes a noise that eerily sounds like a sob. “Are you serious?”, he wants to know, voice shaking. Youngjae doesn't need to think about it. He has never been this aware of something. He doesn't know how long. He doesn't know when it happened, or how. But he knows when the time for lies is up. “I am.” He states.

Jaebum hugs him tightly, cuts off his room to breathe, but it's okay. He finds his lips easily in the orange night glow. They kiss, then Jaebum pulls away, enough to speak.

“Can I make love to you?” he asks sweetly, but audible.

With a loud thump a pair of feet lands on the floor and scattles to the door. It's being ripped open, then slams close again. You can hear Jackson yell outside „Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaark. HEEEELP!“

Youngjae nods. “Please do.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, don't hate me please.
> 
> I know the end was messy, but I really love it.  
> Put yourself in Jaebum' shoes and decide if Youngjae is a liar ;P
> 
> We know why Youngjae stood no chance with Jackson ever. We know why Jaebum is such a clingy little bastard. We know that Youngjae always tried to have feelings for Jaebum.  
> Now I can hear you say  
> "But wait, if it were so easy for Youngjae to finally open his heart to Jaebum, why didn't it happen earlier?"
> 
> Well, my dear reader, because Jaebum was such a pushover in his attempt to make Youngjae love him.  
> Now if they really open up Youngjae can have his space when he needs it. And Jaebum can tell him about his feelings.  
> And at some point he will be adorable and make Youngjae's heart flutter. That's what I think at least.  
> I hope you enjoyed this little story. <3


End file.
